The book with way too many clichés ✔

date ambushing and bad NO GOOD grammerr

I walked into the restaurant and me and Tiffany had previously decoded on in the event that me and her were ever in this situation.

We had a whole contract of what to do when me and her both had boyfriends. This restaurant being the first destination for our double date.

Upon entering the restaurant i immediately came to the conclusion that me and lachlan had been ambushed due to the replacement of tiffany and samuel with my mother and father.

"What the ef" i said to lachlan who shrugged. Obviously not knowing what was going on either.

We sat down in the booth, sitting across from them and they looked nervous.

"Um ?????" I said to them. They still remained quiet. "Why isnt samuel and tiffany here???" I asked them

"Oh" they both scratched their necks nervously.

"We paid them off so they wouldnt show" said mum.

Why the hell would they do that. Lachlan and i gave them both identical looks of confusion.

"Honey..." i didnt have to look over at my father to know he was eating honey.

I was begining to think he had a very unhealthy fixation on honey and needed to be helped but before i could continue thinking about his weird obsession my mother interupted my thoughts.

"We have arranged a marriage between the two of you" said mum and i gasped.

"WHATTTT-"

"Okay okay. Before you get all roudy up in here i would like to say we didnt sell you for cheap okay. Lachlans parents had to give us 5 goats, a steering wheel and half a cow before we could even consider giving you up" said my father reasuringly

"What the fadoodle cakes guys omg. You sold me for 5 goats, a steering wheel and half a cow?!?!?!" I was extremely apauled. I couldnt express in words how apauled i was to hear this.

I had always thought i was at least worth 8 goats. But no i guess not.

I hyffed angrily and crossed my hands over my chest.

Sure what me and lachlan had was special but i didnt want to friggin MARRY him. Or at least not yet.

Imagine the disgraceful children we would produce together. I shivered in disgust.

"This is loodacris" i said weirdly staring at lachlan for his opinion on the matter.

"Um. Im pretty sure you spelt that wrong" he said to someone.

"What?" I asked, confused af.

"The author" he said simply but i was still confused.

He let out an exasperated sigh. "The author spelylt loodacris instead of ludicrous" he explained obviously annoyed.

I rolled my eyes "ugh woteva loclan yew grammer nazi"

"Oh god" he said face palming his hand against his face hard. He winced in pain and cursed at the contact at his uand on his face.

I let out a smirk and leaned on the table breezily.

"See Lachlan. Thats what happens when you fuck with the author of this book and her grammar. Shes in advanced english this year and she writes this book in her spare time okay. Sometimes she doesnt have lots of fucking time to write okay so she doesnt have lots of time to put thought into how shes fucking spelling okay ya hater" i said in an angry outburst.

"Alright alright!!" He said in obvious pain as he hard yanked on his ear repeatedly, making it go red.

The smirk remained on my face "now say sorry to your god" i told him.

He hestiated stubbornly, his face scrunching up in anger.

He hand reached out, grabbing a massive nearby knife from the table and fought with his other hand to keep from stabbing himself in the face.

"Okay okay!!! Im sorry You_MotherLover1 i love you so much and i love your grammar just PLEASE dont hurt me" he begged and then his hang went slack and he quickly put the knife on the table.

He sighed in releaf b4 returning his attenyion back to my mother and father who seemed initially uninterested in what just happened.

No surprise there, they hardly ever seemed to care about anything that happened in my life. I mean for gods sake they sold me for 5 goats omfggg

Fml.