Confused//Nick Bean

Chapter 72

The car ride to the funeral home was silent. Nick opened the car door for me and escorted me into the funeral home. I held him and Zachs hands while we went in.

There was already a lot of people there and people came rushing up to me. "I'm so sorry Courtney." "Your mom was very special." "If you need anything just let me know."

It was really overwhelm and Nick could tell so he told them I just needed my space for now and they understood and went away.

I didn't even know half of these people. I went to go find my grandpa and he was at the casket. I couldn't anything yet until I got closer but I was so scared.

"Are you ready?" Nick asked. I nodded and we slowly walked up to the casket. I looked in and saw a still body. It looked nothing like my mom.

I put my hand on her shoulder and it was cold. I started crying and just stood there with her. I knew this wasn't actually her and that it was just her body. But I felt she was with me right at that moment.

I just felt like she was going to wake up any second and be fine but deep down I knew she wasn't and that's what killed me the most.

Nick was being so supportive about everything. He just kept rubbing my back and giving me time. I went up and hugged my grandpa. "She still looks beautiful."He said tearing up. "She does."I said smiling.

I went and sat down at the first pew. I was sitting in between my grandma and Nick. The service was about to start.

Everybody sat down and I looked behind me and there was so many people here. My mom was loved by so many people.

I grabbed a tissue because I knew as soon as it started I wasn't going to be able to control myself.

The preacher came out and started talking. He read some verses and it was really beautiful what all he was saying. Then he said "At this moment anyone can come up and say anything they would like."

I immediately stood up. "Are you sure Courtney?" Nick asked me.I nodded and went up to the microphone.

I looked around and all eyes were on me. I took a deep breath and started.

"My mom was the most amazing and wonderful and caring person I know.  She did so much for people even if she had nothing. She was very stubborn and wanted things her way just like me. But if you need anything she was always there. These last couple of years I've been kind of distant with her and I don't know why. We just kind of did our own things. But I could always talk to her about everything. She wouldn't yell at me or get mad especially when I told her I was pregnant. She was there for me. I know she is in a better place now and is looking down on all of us.I just want to make her proud. I love you mom."I said stepping down and at this point I was uncontrollably bawling my eyes out.

I went and sat back down and my grandma held my hand while I leaned my head onto Nick.