Who I am

Not in Control

For the next hour, the two of us just sit there, hand in hand, my head on his shoulder, and his head over mine. We don't talk, just merely be best friends, enjoying each other's company. The door creaks open. "Ari? Jace?" Two voices call. I yank my hand from Jace's and move a couple inches away.

"Where are you?" Isabelle asks. She looks over and sees my things on the ground, still tied to the rope. She follows it with her eyes and sees the two of us. "What are you doing up there?" My body again seems ripped from my mind, now no longer in my control. I drop from the rafters, and run up to Isabelle.

"Ari, what the-" Her reply is cut off as I begin to attack her. Stop!! What are you doing!! STOP!!! I scream in my mind, but I can't stop. I keep trying to land my blows somewhere. I manage to kick her in the solar plexus and she doubles over. Alec, having been momentarily distracted, I take the opportunity and nail him in the chest, sending him staggering. My body is now in my hands. I look around and see the two sprawled on the ground, and Jace still in a rafters, watching me.

I turn on my heel and sprint from the room. I went to the only other place I knew of. The garden. I sprint up the stairs. I run into the garden, not taking the time to admire the beauty. I run over to some particularly beautiful flowers, that are glowing a medium twilight blue, and I sit in them, rendering myself invisible to all, though I can see everything.

I start to cry. Why did I do that? I love those guys. I would never do that. So why did I? A voice, cold as ice, that sounds of metal scraping on metal, echoes in my mind. Don't you get it? You are mine now. I have your blood, and now, you are under my control. I know this voice. My tears start to fall harder, my breaths becoming louder heaves.

The door opens. "Ari? Are you up here?" No, I don't want to talk to him, not now. Not after what I've done. I make no noise. "Please. I want to know what happened." I give a small gasp, tears still running freely, though I try to stop them. The plants move, and his blonde halo of hair is falling into his eyes.

"Go away." I mutter. He quotes a song I know quite well; Whatever It Takes, by Lifehouse. "You gotta let me inside even though it hurts. Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see." I stand up and turn to face him, not meeting his gaze. "What happened?" He leads me to a bench and sits me down.

"That wasn't me. I was not controlling my body when that happened." I start.

"Sonomus was. She has my blood, that's what Abbadon wanted with me. Now she has this thing that can control me, at anytime, and I can't do anything." More tears spill down my cheeks. He holds out a finger and catches them. I scoot closer, and he puts his arms around me. "I can't do anything. I can't get free." I mutter. He pets my hair, bringing me back three months ago.

"We'll figure something out. I promise. I won't let you be controlled by her." He murmurs into my ear. I stay in his arms, hoping that he's right.

By now my tears have dried, and crusted over my face. "Jace?" I look up. He tilts his head to the side. "What if I can't? What if I'm in her control forever?" I bury my face into the crook of his neck.

"You won't. We'll figure something out. I promise" He whispers. Heat radiates from him and gives me comfort.

"Come on. Let's tell the others." He pulls me to my feet and grabs my hand, twining his fingers with mine.

The Lightwoods are where I thought they'd be, in the kitchen. "Ariella Peyton Nightfire. What the hell was that for?" Isabelle jumps up and puts her hands on her hips, glaring at me.

"That wasn't me. I wasn't in control. Sonomus has my blood, and she's using it against me. She said join her and that I'm in her control."

"So where'd you run off to?" Alec asks.

"The garden." I mumble.

"Now you all hate me." I add, my head down.

"No, now that we know that Sonomus is behind it, we're going to do anything to help you." 9:00.

"Tomorrow, because I'm tired, so night." I start to walk away, my finger leaving Jace's. His fingers come closer. We walk back to my room. "All right. I'm leaving." I mutter.

"Good night." He kisses my cheek and I shut my room door, Jace staring after me.