Who I am

Feather

"I still can't believe you told him." Jace grumbles.

"Get over it, Wayland." I never use just his last name. Only when he's pissing me off, which is now.

"How can you trust him?" He goes on. I tilt my head back.

"I just can. But you are stuck in your own jealous world to realize that he can be trusted." I counter. He rolls his eyes.

"If he tells someone..." He threatens, reaching for his dagger.

"I'll be the one doing the damage. I don't trust you not to kill him." All anger in my voice, not a hint of teasing.

"I have training. See you later." I huff and storm off with Isabelle.

"Why is he so mad about that. I'm not. He seems like a good guy." Isabelle starts.

"He's jealous because he knows he likes me. And that does NOT please Jace." I grumble. We go to the Silent City and pass my test with flying colors.

History. I am actually happy for it. It's better than my regular history class. "I don't mind that you told Jared." Alec says softly while I'm trying to recall where Alicante is.

"I know you don't. It's just Jace." I mutter.

"He'll get over it." He answers.

"I know. What was that about him being able to be there?" I ask, the question intriguing me.

"You know about parabatai, right?" I nod.

"Well, apparently, you two have something like that. You don't have the rune." He sees me checking my arms. "It's telekinetic. It can be accessed from strong emotions or pain, like yours. And if it's strong enough, just by each other's minds. Which means you could talk to each other in your minds I guess. And I don't know if it's strong enough. You can mess with that. Let me know how it goes." I locate Alicante. That was my last task and now I have to deal with Jace.

"Guess what I found out in history?" I call to the rafters. I swing up and see Jace looking at me with curiosity, like a cat's. "Turns out, that connection we have, whatever it is, can be accessed through emotion or pain. Really strong ones though." I add. His eyes go back to normal.

"I knew that. What else did you figure out? Come on, say it." He seems to have forgiven me.

"If it's strong enough, we can just talk to each other. If it's strong enough. Alec told me. Apparently, we have a strange connection. And I know we aren't related. I don't what it is though."

"Neither do I. But I want to know. Are you willing to try? While we're training today." I nod. But something's still bothering me.

"What's up? I know something's still bothering you, you're eyes turn storm grey like Alec." He points out. I make a small head movement. I go and sit next to him.

"I'm sorry." I say, not meeting his gaze.

"For what?" He asks. He seems unsure why.

"For everything. I feel like everything has been my fault for the last couple weeks." I rush. I still cannot meet his gaze.

"Why do you say that?" He asks.

"The demons were after me. I caused myself to get hurt, I'm the one who caused you pain. I'm the one who yelled at you about something small. I'm the one who had the small relapse. I'm the one who told Jared. And I'm the one who made you hate me and not trust me." I finish, one tear dripping down my cheek. Just one. A long, scarred finger catches it, just above my scrape. His fingers lightly graze my cut.

"Why would I ever hate you? Why would you ever think I hate you?" I shrug my shoulders. "Why would I ever not trust you? I don't hate you, I never have. And I would never not trust you. Sure, I was mad for a minute. But I can't stay mad at you. I just can't." I now meet his kind gaze. This is the face that screamed at me only a couple hours ago, yet is showing me kindness now. "Now let's get training, it'll take your mind off it." I stand up and review my jumping and landing. Eventually, the backflip and done and now the boy is making me use my feet and propel myself off of different surfaces.

I'm pretty good at just about all of them, it's just the really uneven walls and the half crumbling wall. I groan in frustration. "Why can't I get this?" I almost fall on my face for maybe the 50th time.

"You'll get it. I promise. This took me the longest too." He encourages. I get up from lying on the floor, and walk back over to the wall.

"So tell me how to fix it." I state.

"Use your eyes. Find a surface of which you can use your leverage to launch you off. The other wall, feel light. Think that you're a feather and it'll work. I can't tell you where to put your feet. That's for you to find." He says, watching me with curious cat- like eyes. Eyes that are watching me figure out this puzzle. I scan the wall for maybe a minute, then I run at it.

I run at the uneven wall, my eyes glued to the spot where I want my feet planted. I leap into the air and put my foot right where I want it. Using my spring loaded legs, I launch backwards, arching like a cat and doing a perfect backflip. I land in a crouch and I smile. I did it. "You did it." Jace echoes my thoughts. I stand up and smile.

"Thanks for the help."

"Now for the other wall." He points to the other wall. I take a deep breath and repeat the words Jace said. Think that you're a feather and it'll work. Think that you're a feather and it'll work. I repeat it like a mantra, over and over in my head, a never ending loop. I run before I can tell myself to stop. I approach the wall, and stick my foot out. Think that you're a feather and it'll work. Think that you're a feather and it'll work. I say the words, faster now, faster and with more belief. I plant my foot on the wall.

Think that you're a feather and it'll work. Think that you're a feather and it'll work. I put some weight on my foot. Think that you're a feather and it'll work. Think that you're a feather and it'll work. I kick off the wall, and flip backward, making a perfect crescent moon with my body, flipping head over heel. I land into a crouch, the wall in front of me and me not sprawled on the ground. I stand up and turn around. Jace is smiling with the widest grin I've ever seen on him.

"Nice job. You did it. You're all good on acrobatics!" I beam back at him. "That's enough for today. You did great." I'm breathing hard, my face red, and sweating. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just, I didn't know what to think about the fact that you told Jared everything. And I guess I'm still kind of jealous." He states. It's my turn to gaze at him.

"Why are you jealous?" I ask, tilting my head to the side.

"It seems like you still like him, that I'm still just a friend."

"I know that I have a special connection that might be the first in the Shadow World, you know that I love you, and somehow you're still jealous of Jared?" I state.

"You love me?" He asks, his eyes saucers. I nod.

"Yes. I kind of have since second grade. I saw you and was captivated by your mystery and beauty. You had this intriguing thing about you that made me like you. I just didn't know I loved you until when I was having those nightmares, I wanted your comfort. Yours only."

"I didn't know you felt that way." He murmurs.

"Well, now you do. So stop being jealous of that mundane, and get over yourself." I tease. "I'm off to shower, see you later." I walk off, leaving Jace starting after me.