Niall is a laugh. He's always cracking jokes, but he still hasn't asked Anna out yet and I finally told him to grow a pair and do it.
"I want to wait until after tour," he states.
Honestly it makes sense. He even told her that. She agrees. They are probably only waiting because of what happened to me and Liam. Damn, those smart asses. But in my defence we were dating before he auditioned the second time.
I miss being able to hug him. It was different when I knew he'd be back and I'd just have to wait. Now I won't get to hug him ever again. I feel like I should've fought, but I also knew it would've done no good.
I miss kissing him. And of course I tell Anna how I feel, but not everything. Some stuff I feel like she would laugh at. I know she wouldn't, but it's too risky.
Niall feels bad everytime we listen to the radio and one of their songs come on, but he feels even worse when he doesn't realize it and he's singing along. He's a great singer and I'd love to hear it, but it's too hard to listen to Liam. I can't do it.
I still love him, I'd take him back in a heartbeat.
But he isn't coming back. And I need to come to grips with that. He's not gonna be mine again, becuase he's hers. That thought kills me. Niall and Anna have helped a little by destracting me, but my thoughts always catch up.
I cry myself to sleep almost every night. Niall has been here for three days and he's only staying two more so he can visit his family. They miss him a lot.
"Hey, Brooke?" Niall says, stepping into my room.
"Yeah?"
"I'm really sorry about everything."
"Don't be, Ni. It's not your fault."
"I knew."
I stare at him for a second, thinking about what he meant.
"What do you mean?"
"I knew about Danielle."
I feel a lump in my throat.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.
"I wanted him to be the one who told you. It wasn't my place. I just didn't know he was gonna take so long, and then you found out ." He looks so guilty. I can't help but hug him.
"Ni, I wish you would've told me or made him tell me sooner, but I can't be mad at that. You're right about him being the one who should've told me. He just told the world first." I shake my head.
I could throttle that jerk for making his best friend feel guilty over something HE should've done. Arse.
"Oh and you're getting a surprise tomorrow."
"What is it?" I ask.
"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, silly." He winks before leaving my room. I fall asleep quickly, tired from all the stress.
*****
I wake up the next morning and walk downstairs, hoping I get my surprise right now. Niall and Anna both smile at me as I walk down the stairs.
"It's not here yet," Niall states from the table.
"Damn."
At least it gives me time to get ready, I guess. I grab a muffin and walk back upstairs. I eat quickly and turn on the shower. I also pull a pack of cigerettes out of my purse. Haven't told Anna about this yet and she'd kill me.
I smoke in the bathroom before stepping into the shower. I wash my hair quickly and then wash my body. I step out and wrap a towel around my body. I just grab a shirt and some jeans and throw them on, not caring which ones they are.
I brush my hair and blow dry it. I pull it up into a messy bun and walk back downstairs.
When I get to the bottom I get wrapped into a huge hug. I look up and smile.
