Car Pool {c.h.}

2.1

i slumped down in the bathtub, swirling the bubbles around into small clusters. i only sit high enough so that my nose was above the water, that way i could breath, but still sulk in the water. my hair formed a swamp around me.

i was going over the job ads i had seen in the paper. i wanted s new, better one than working in the coffee shop. i wanted a job farther from where cal worked. though i hadn't seen him, luke kept showing up at the coffee shop. after a couple days of that, i had gotten annoyed. deciding that i should remove myself from the situation, instead of creating a problem.

i didn't quite understand why the breakup was so dramatic. i hadn't even dated him that long. perhaps i had a crush on him at first, but nothing more than that.

there was a knock on the door. not the bathroom door, the front door of the apartment. i never left the door unlocked.

pretending to ignore the hard knocks on the front door, i sulk deeper into the tub. i could now hear mumbling, but sense the door was too far away, i couldn't hear the words the person at the front door was saying.

then, the knocking began again. it came every 20 seconds, three knocks.

i was lucky not to have zoe anymore, for she would be barking crazily at the moment.

the person was persistent to get me to go to the door, because they kept knocking for long minutes as i sat in the bath tub. the knocks became less often though, every 40 seconds now.

i clamber out of the tub, putting on my robe and wringing out my now short hair. i step to the front door, opening to my surprise, cal. i thought it would be quinn.

"esme, you cut your hair, luke told me that though." he says quickly under his breath, nervous clearly. i dare not speak.

"i realize we haven't spoken for a while, and i should've called, but i have reasons, just like you had reasons not to call." the brunette says short of breath from his quick talking pace.

"why are you here calum?" i skip straight the the point, i was in merely a robe with my apartment door wide open.

"well, see my mum used to tell me this thing when i was young," his hands begin to search his pockets frantically. "she said if you knew someone, you could name five things about them. if you were friends with them you could named twenty things about them. but if you knew fifty things about a person, you loved them. and fifty doesn't sound like much, but it is a lot."

i lean against the dorm frame, knowing well that calum's monologue wouldn't be short.

"these last few weeks we've been apart, i spent naming things about you. " he pulls up a small wrinkled sheet of paper, unfolding it to a larger paper," so, one. your name is esme emory. you have a sister, quinn, and you love her and care for her mental health, but she gets under your skin a lot. you had a dog, zoe, whom you love. in general, you love dogs over cats. you had a room mate, but she moved to the united states. you love all time low, and you fancy jack. when you're in the right mood, you love classical music. you used to play the violin. you once played a huge show in new york, from what i know, that was your last show. esme, you work in a coffee show, which you absolutely hate because you have social anxiety and it kills you to talk to so many customers. you find boys with accents attractive. your heart has a special beat, just like everyone else's, but i know yours because i've listened and it's special to me. every once in a while you like to have a good cry, because sometimes the world is just too much for you to handle. your favorite lipstick is a dark red, you wear it the most. you love spearmint gum, but hate peppermint. in the mornings, you prefer frosted flakes. you like star wars, and you wish anakin never went to the dark side. when you walk you like to kick the pebbles in front of you. you can only sleep on your side, never on your back. you hate the cold, and want to move somewhere warm, even though the sun gives you endless freckles. you have morals, but you respect others who enjoy sleeping around. you've never been to a club of any sorts, but school friends used to bring you to parties. you hate shaving, it's too much of a hassle for you." he reads off the paper, his voice shaky.

"calum," i begin to interrupt before he does the same.

"please esme, it took me days to build up enough courage to come here, just let me finish. " he huffs, shutting me up. "thirty, when you were young, your father took you to your first concert, just you and him. you talk to your dad more than your mum, but you keep your distance from your family. you enjoy chinese food, eating it straight out of the container. you love sarcasm and puns. you leave sticky notes everywhere, for every idea that ever pops into you head. you like showers over baths, but you love bubbles baths. your hair dries in small waves after a shower. you like your boots because they keep you feet warm, which get cold very easily. you like colored and patterned socks better than the generic white sock. paper cuts drive you crazy. if you have the time, you try to read at least five books a month. you hate modern slang and hate when people don't know the difference between the too, two, to, their, they're, there, you're, and your. you used to take the bus to work. then you car pooled with me. you once dated me, and you once said you loved me." he lets out a tired breath, ruffling his hair. "that's fifty, fifty things about you. if it's not good enough, i have ten more things i could add just off the top of my head."

"that's enough." i say calmly, although the words seem harsh. i rub my face clear of any emotion.

"esme, i think your lying to yourself. trying to convince yourself it's all okay. not many people know that the trick to being happy, is to just sometimes be sad and admit to that." the boy opposite from me doesn't touch me as i begin to shake me head.

"calum, i don't know what to say." i give up, letting a few tears slip down my cheeks. with my words in hand, the boy cups my chin to lift it up. his lips brush mine as he hugs me tightly. "i'm sorry." i begin to mumble over and over again, hugging tightly on to the aussie boy.