The Better Life

Chapter 17- The Deal With Tanner

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Tanner's P.O.V.

Tanner Andrew Mattson. That's who I am. Named after- well no one. My parents are just that creative to name their only child Tanner, and give him the middle name of his grandfather. I am a player I will not lie. It's just my nature. But it wasn't always that way. I don't like blaming people, because well it shouldn't be anyone's fault but my own. When girls tell their friends about me they say it's because I'm desperate for love and I'm attention starved. Whoa- what the hell goes through their mind? I have TOO MUCH attention! I don't like having girls hang off me because the one girl that I want to give me her attention and hang off me hates me. You think it's my fault that I'm a player? I'm sorry to say but it isn't.

It's Riley Carmell's.

Because I had to fall in love with my best friends little sister.

It's also my fault I put her in a coma and got her hit by a car not too long ago. I never forgiven myself for doing that to her, I don't think I ever will either. Who I used to be seems like another person completely. I got kicked out of my house, moved in with my best friend, waited for the day Riley woke up, found out she was going to be taken off life support- wait I'll stop there.

That day was the day my world shattered.

I was sitting in the living room of Wilson's house watching T.V. with my boys: Matt and Mason. We were the only ones home so we decided to run a horror movie marathon. We started talking about the girls we have done it with and plan on doing it with- I know. Now that I looked back on it, I'm horrified with myself.

Anyway, we were talking and Matt brought up a bad subject. He started talking about how he really wanted to get Riley. He bragged about how whenever she saw him she checked him out and I tried to ignore him. Riley wasn't into Matt, I knew that for sure. Mason told him he's full of it- because Riley looks at him, not Matt. They tried to get me into this one but I shook my head and avoided the subject.

"Dude? Why is it a big deal?" Mason asked.

"Because if Wilson were here he'd kick all of our asses for talking about his sister that way." I shrugged. They burst into laughter. They said he would never give a damn about Riley. Oh but they're wrong, so wrong. I've heard Wilson talk in his sleep. He is always calling out to Riley. He says he's sorry and that he loves her. Wilson and I have been friends since I was born. I knew all his secrets. But when that crash cam around- he stopped talking to everyone. He ever so rarely spoke to me. Matt and Mason drifted away from him and Wilson locked himself in his room. I never saw him so distraught before that- until he burst into the door that day.

He slammed the door, his eyes full of tears. Mr. and Mrs. Carmell walked in the door behind him. Mrs. Carmell sobbed quietly and walked into the kitchen. Mr. Carmell followed her but before he did he grabbed Wilson's shoulder and spoke quietly enough so his wife didn't here, but I heard clear as day what he said:

"It's your fault they're doing this. She will die because of you. You killed your baby sister, I hope you're happy." He shoved Wilson slightly and ran to his wife who was still sobbing.

Wilson didn't move and didn't argue. He finally cracked, he believed it was his fault when it was mine. I didn't know what his dad meant when he said that Wilson killed Riley. I stood up and walked over to Wilson.

"Wil, what's wrong?" I had asked.

"I killed her Tanner." He said in a scratchy voice.

"No you didn',t you and I both know-"