The Better Life

Chapter 21- The Aftermath

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Tanner had his arms wrapped tightly around me. He whispered into my hair, "I love you." Over and over again. I just seemed unable to say it back. He started asking me if I loved him too, and when I opened my my mouth, no words came out. Not even a little squeak. I held onto him tighter, praying he wouldn't let go. He hasn't held me like this in so long, I craved this feeling. This feeling of completeness. His warm, strong arms wrapping around me protectively. I raised my head and raised my lips to his. When I pulled back, Matt was standing in front of me. I tried to force myself out of his grip but he wouldn't let go of my arms. "Why?" He asked me. I knew what he meant. I tried to speak again, but it sounded like someone ripped out my vocal cords. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I shook my head feircly. I couldn't pull away, but I wanted to more than anything. He pulled me to his chest and whispered in my ear, the words that always haunted me, and always will. "You'll regret choosing him, over me."

I jerked up from my bed and I fell off my bed, tangled in my bed sheets. I layer of sweat covered my forehead. My lips quivered and I hugged myself tightly. I still felt Matt's ferocious grip on my forearms. I looked at my arms to see if there were actual marks. Thankfully, this confirmed that it was just a nightmare. But that confirmed another theory. The nightmares are back. I lay down on the floor, I felt a small tear trickle out of my eyes that threatened more. I bit my lip and willed myself to stop thinking about him. The small tear turned into thousands more. I hurt so much, not emotionally but physically. Pain coursed through my veins and my arms throbbed. I dropped my hands on my face and wiped the tears. I never have been more afraid in my entire life, I feared for the moment Matt got me alone, what he would do to me for breaking up with him. A struggled scream left my throat as I felt his grip on my arms again only with more hate, like it threatened to cause me real pain. I felt his hands tightened over them and screamed again. The door to my room opened and I dragged myself behind my bed. I screamed for whoever it was to leave, and I begged them not to hurt me. I even think I screamed Matt's name and begged him not to hurt me.

"Riley, shush! I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay."

"Get away from me!"

"It's me! Wilson." My head shot up and I looked into my brother's big brown eyes.

"Wilson." I exhaled and wrapped my arms tightly around him.

He returned the gesture and petted my hair. I shook in his arms. "I thought he was here..."

"Shush, he isn't here. He won't hurt you." He held me tighter as others flooded into my room.

My mom was now beside me, comforting me alongside Wilson. My dad was muttering how they could've come back or why they did. At first it was the crash, now it was Matt. I raised my eyes to where to Tanner stood, breathless in my door frame. He looked worried and scared. I wanted to sink into his arms and tell him what happened. I thought he would be the one to come first, but he just stood there unsure of what to do. Matt was his best friend, but he was in love with me. He couldn't just leave, could he? As if reading my mind, he proved me wrong and walked out of the room leaving me shattered.

"I've never hurt so much before in my life." I whispered. Now both emotionally and physically I burned from the inside out, feeling the inferno course through my blood.

I felt like dying.

*~*

I didn't go to school yesterday, the nightmare still burned in the back of my mind as I walked the halls of my school. I still had rude whispers being spoken about me and dirty looks shot my way. I accepted them, absorbed them, and added it to my anxiety. Melissa walked to my left and Natalie to my right, like my own personal bodyguards. When I got a dirty look or a rude name followed by vulgar words shouted at me, they returned it, just as venomous. They didn't leave my side all day, but if I didn't have a class with them, I was on my own letting it all add to my anxieties.