Black Roses (Ezria)

Chapter 21

After a long time of running and worrying about the girl who was dying in my arms, I finally reached the hospital. Scraped knees from falling, painful feet from running and a headache from the cold rain that was touching our body's, nothing stopped me. I walked throug the doors with a barely breathing Aria in my arms but saw the room was as empty as my heart at the moment. I fell on my already skinned kneels and Aria tumbled to the ground as she let a small gasp in pain

"I'm sorry.. I'm too late" I wishpered before several doctors and nurses came barging through the door and they knelt next to Aria

"Suicide attempt" I mumbled before two nurses grabbed my arms and dragged me to the waiting room. The last thing I saw was Aria's body being carried away.

"Bring her to the ER!" I heard a doctor scream.

Goodbye, my love

~

The whole time Aria was away I was sitting in that white, uncomfortable chair where the nurses left me with a cup of coffee. I couldn't stop thinking about Aria without wondering why she did this. The only thing I heard in the waiting room was the sound of the seconds passing by on that white clock

Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.

After a unknown time another doctor walked into the waiting room with a frown on his face. He searched the room around him before he walked towards the desk and yelled some nurses

"Someone get this man a damn blanket! He's freezing!" He yelled and in the blink of an eye there were nurses around me making sure my knees were fine and my body would get warm again. I was freezing, yes indeed. Little did the nurses know a blanket wouldn't help me. I needed Aria. The doctor handed me a towel so I could wipe the water from my body. It didn't matter how many times I wiped my face, my cheeks stayed wet due to the tears that were falling.

"How is she?" I asked in a raspy voice and let my red, puffy eyes meet the doctor.

"Physically, I think she's stable now. You were just in time, you saved her life. She was heavily underfed, she had a large hole in her head caused by a hard, sharp object. She had cut her veins in her wrists and had taken an overdosis of Citalopram, her antidepressands. You were aware she was taking them?" The doctor frowned at me

"Yes"

"Menatlly, this girl is damaged. I have no idea why she did this, but maybe you do. You know her better than anyone I believe. She needs some serious help. You can go see her now, but I think she's still asleep" The doctor said and I just nodded. I stoop up from the chair and my feet slowly made their way to Aria's room. I opened the door and saw the girl, vunerable as ever, resting in that hospital bed. It hurt me to see her like this. Two bandages around her wrists, one around her head. She had her tiny body curled up in the sheets and her head burried in her pillow. I quietly sat down in the chair that was standing next to her bed and curled my legs up under my body. I grabbed her hand and rubbed circles with my thumb. I sat there like that for half an hour or so before my eyelids started to feel heavy. I couldn't fall asleep now, not in front of the girl who almost died. I failed the battle and fell asleep.

~

After three quarters of sleep I woke up and lifted my head that was resting on Aria's legs. Her hand was still in mine and her legs were still tangled in her sheets. One thing had changed though, Aria was awake. She was sitting in her hospital bed now and her eyes were open. She was staring at the wall and didn't even flinch when I woke up. She didn't even look at me.

"Aria?" I wishpered but she didn't react. All she did was staring at the wall with those red, puffy eyes of hers.

"Aria" I said, more stern this time but still, she didn't move. It statisfied me to see her chest moving up and down again, and to see her beautiful, big, innocent eyes again, but seeing her in this mental state broke every little piece inside of me.

"Aria, please say something" I tried but again, she didn't react. I moved closer towards her and brushed a piece of wet, dirty hair out of her face but she didn't even blink. She kept staring at that white wall in front of her. I let go of her hand, sat down in my chair and watched her for a while. I grabbed a book that was laying on her nightstand and started to read. Every once in a while I glanced at Aria, but she wouldn't move a inch. After 30 minutes of reading the book and inspecting Aria staring at the wall I layed the book down.

"Don't ever do that again" I said and grabbed her hand again. I looked at the white bandage that was wrapped around her wrist and looked back up at Aria.

"You scared the shit out of me you know that?" I asked but Aria didn't move. I talked to her without getting response for a while untill I gave up. I leaned back in my chair and started to stare at the same white wall Aria was staring at.

White. Sign of pureness, innocence, wholeness or completion.

"You didn't have to safe me" Aria suddenly said as her eyes were still glued at that white wall. My eyes shot her way in confusion, but I was extremely happy she was talking again. This is progress.

"Why not? You're safe now" I replied and rubbed a circle on the back of her hand.

"Oh, I wish I was" she replied. "Why do you think I tried this anyways?"

"I don't know Aria.. Why did you?" I asked carefully

"You won't understand"

"Just let me help you" I begged but she shook her head

"It's too late Ezra, I'm that 'girl broken beyond repair' they always talk about in romantic novels" she said and a sad smile appeared on her face. "They always idealize it in books though, a mental disorder isn't romantic"

"But I want to help you, I can help you. We can do this"

"Ezra, this is complicated beyond your imagination. But you are right, we can do this, together. We can build a home and have that 'perfect life'" Aria started what made the corners of my mouth to curl up a little. "Just don't be surprised when you come home to my lifeless body one day, this is not the place for me"

"But why not Aria, I don't understand"

"Oh Ezra, there are a lot of things you don't understand"

"Then tell me, let me in" I said and looked at her

"It's too late. I don't belong here" Aria stated

"Then where do you belong?"

"Oh Ezra" Aria said and let a sarcastic laugh before she finally looked me in the eyes.

"I wish I knew"