It was 6 AM in California. Alexandra has just gone to sleep. A good day for her and Aubrey. But Alexandra was at her place. She was drifting off when Aubrey burst into her room. She sat up alert.
Alexandra: Ok. I'm up.
Aubrey: I need you right now.
Alexandra sat there and looked at Aubrey blankly.
Aubrey: Alex!
Alexandra (Blinking hard): Oh, I'm sorry, I was waiting for my heart to stop beating so fast.
Aubrey pulled Alexandra out of bed and stood her up. He pulled her to him and squeezed her.
Alexandra: You're scaring me.
Aubrey: A friend of mine from back home died a couple of weeks ago and I was too busy to know it. I feel like a fucking asshole.
They sat down on Alexandra's bed together. Alexandra rubbed Aubrey's back.
Alexandra: I'm sorry, baby.
Aubrey: No! I promised. I promised everyone back home that nothing would change. I wouldn't change. And I miss something like that.
Alexandra didn't know what to say. She knew Aubrey lost people in his life but she also knew he was someone that was always down for his family. Always around no matter what. He hated missing birthdays so something like this was like a shot to his heart.
Alexandra: You have to understand that this wasn't gonna be easy. Nothing was gonna be the same once things took off for you. I know your friends love you just as much as you love them.
Aubrey shook his head.
Aubrey: You know sometimes I really feel alone in all this.
Alexandra pulled away from him.
Alexandra (Confused): What does that mean?
Alexandra got up.
Aubrey: You know what I mean.
Alexandra: No I don't. You're alone? In what? In bed? In life?
Aubrey: In general.
Alexandra (Walking out of the room angrily): I can't believe this bullshit.
Aubrey followed Alexandra into the kitchen. She was about to make herself some coffee since she was probably gonna be up for the rest of the morning. Aubrey was actually starting to feel badgered by Alexandra's reaction. He thought she would have a little more compassion regarding the situation but he felt that all she heard was that Alexandra wasn't being supportive enough or she wasn't doing her job.
Alexandra: So you feel alone...when you're supposed to be marrying someone?
Aubrey: That's not what I mean.
Alexandra: So what do you mean by you feel alone "in general"?
Aubrey looked at Alexandra. Alex made a face for him to say something.
Aubrey: I feel like I am alone. Everything falls on me. Whenever something goes wrong it's Aubrey's fault. It's Drake's fault. When I miss something or when something. Anything is wrong. Fucked. Going south. It's me.
Alexandra stopped what she was doing.
Alexandra: You always feel like this?
Aubrey walked up to her and grabbed her arms.
Aubrey: Alex, I can't help but to feel this way about everything when I'm the one controlling it. I know you're there. I know you support me. But sometimes I have this feeling of everything riding on my shoulders.
Alexandra still in just a push up bra and OVO track pants, approached Aubrey. She touched his face and stroked his growing beard.
Alexandra (Quietly): I don't...want you to feel like everything's riding on you. (Wrapping her arms around Aubrey's neck and talking into his ear) Nothing rides on you when you have me. Tell me you'll always remember that.
She hugged Aubrey and he took a deep breath and squeezed her. They stood in that hug for a moment. They could've fought about Alexandra not being appreciated and Aubrey not being heard. But she consoled him. She consoled him the way he consoled her.
[Flashback]
Alexandra skipped out on Aubrey for the past three days so he went to her penthouse to check to see if she was ok. The only time he had was around 2 AM. When he walked in Alexandra was sitting on her couch. Upright and distraught. Her eye liner and mascara was smeared on her face and she looked away blankly. Aubrey sat beside her and placed his hand on her lap. She didn't look at him. She didn't speak to him. All you could hear is what was going on outside of the covered windows that were walls in her penthouse. Cars going. Some people. Light activity for a 2 AM in Los Angeles. Aubrey looked Alexandra in the face.
Alexandra (Holding back tears): My brother...is dead.
Aubrey: You have a brother?
Alexandra: Several. And some sisters.
Aubrey was really taken back by what she was telling him. But Aubrey tried to keep up with the initial point.
Aubrey: How did you find out about your brother?
Alexandra (With a single tear streaming down her face): My father told me.
Alexandra avoided any question about her father's existence. She figured once she got to the east coast, it was something she'd never have to worry about, confront or acknowledge. She would be home free. But she fell in love. And the person she was in love with wanted answers. Answers to why she was so scared and insecure and undefined and lost. Alexandra was a tourist in her own mind.
Aubrey: Ho-how did your father. How did this happen?
Alexandra: I mean. It's public record. I'm public record. You can find information on me. He found me. He knows I exist again. My brother's dead. Someone...killed him. And my father called me. His father. Our father. The same father that left. The same one that claimed me but not him. The same father that is the reason why I am constantly trying to be something and someone else. (Turning to him) The reason why I'm not perfect for you.
Aubrey grabbed Alexandra's face.
Aubrey: You ARE perfect. Everything about you. Every flaw about you is what makes you YOU. Nothing can and will change how much you mean to me. How much you've changed me.
Alexandra (Crying): But I can't change. I can't be something else. I hate this. I hate this life. I just- (breaking down)
Aubrey grabbed her and held her. He knew what she needed. He knew what she wanted. She needed comfort and stability. She wanted to revert back to her old self. She at this point wanted to get high. She wanted so badly to just overdose and die. Not because her dad got in contact with her or because she hasn't spoken to her brother since she met him when she was 14. She was depressed because this is what she came from. This is who she wasn't. She couldn't separate what her career made her and who her mom raised her to be from what a monster her father was. Aubrey wanted her to want to live. Aubrey wanted her to know that someone was always gonna be that safety net. That support system. That fix. There was always gonna be a less deadly fix.
[Now]
Alexandra knew Aubrey wasn't going through something as devastating as she was. But his feelings were a lot fragile because he had a stronger confidence system. If there wasn't something to constantly strike at his confidence or his heart or his mind, when it did. It took some of what it was striking at with him. Alexandra held Aubrey.
Alexandra (Looking him in the eye): We'll be fine.
