Aubrey took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He opened them and looked at Alexandra. They'd been in the car in the garage for 30 minutes now.
Aubrey: How could you do something like that Alexandra?! Do you live to make this complicated?
Alexandra: Stop it, Aubrey.
Aubrey: No. I hate this back and forth bullshit and you know what I've been through with that. I hate-
Alexandra: You don't know what you're talking about.
Aubrey: Yes I do. How could you do that? How could you make THAT decision?
Alexandra: Because I had to.
Alexandra took a deep breath. Alexandra looked ahead with a scowl on her face. Aubrey began to say something but Alex stopped him.
Alexandra: I left because I couldn't face you anymore. I couldn't face this anymore. I got with AJ because I knew me and him could've had a normal relationship. We wouldn't always fight or always go back and forth. We could've made it because it was normal. I start fights because I want this to end normally. Not with something like this going down. I don't want you to hate me.
Alexandra paused and looked at Aubrey. He was still stuck on the fact that she acknowledged her relationship with AJ as a positive and that they could never work.
Aubrey: What are you saying?
Alexandra: I just want us to have a normal relationship.
[Flashback]
Alexandra and AJ sat in a fancy, candle-lit restaurant.
Alexandra: This is actually really nice.
AJ: Just to show (Lowering his head) That I love you.
Alexandra (Blushing): You love me?
AJ: Yes.
Alexandra (Smiling): Prove it.
AJ got up, grabbed Alexandra's and they both ran out of the restaurant. AJ's place was a few blocks away which made things easier. When they made it inside, Alexandra leaned against the door. AJ ran his hand up her leg, slowly, hiking up her dress. Alexandra put her arms around AJ's neck and he picked her up.
Alexandra: I love you too.
Alexandra kissed AJ and he spun her around. They made out in the living room on the floor before anything serious happened. Something that showed Alexandra a sense of sincerity in his action. This was the first time Alexandra truly felt wanted. And she loved it. She thrived in it.
[Now]
Aubrey: But we're not normal.
Alexandra: I know we're not normal. This ISN'T normal. We call each other crazy. Then we get it all out. Then we fuck and expect that to make things right.
Aubrey took a deep breath. Alexandra felt bad for all of her drama but telling him was a good explanation for it.
[Flashback to Alexandra at the Doctor's Office]
Alexandra: Um. Is there any like...noticeable symptoms to this?
The doctor: Uhh, fever, there's a possibility that you'll have symptoms of a pregnancy, emotional side effects such as regret, relationship problems, guilt.
Alexandra (In her head): Go figure. As if other side effects aren't bad enough.
She shook her head and did a face palm.
[Now]
Aubrey shook his head. He was trying to collect all of what he was gonna say to Alexandra.
Aubrey: I love you. And I don't want you to be my ex. (Looking at her) Even if we're not normal. I don't wanna fucking be normal. That's not who I am. That's not what I am. I built a life and I want that life with you Alex.
He looked at her engagement ring, which she was still wearing. Alexandra was relieved that Aubrey didn't ask the question "Was it my baby?". She knew she wouldn't have been able to come back from that. Alexandra touched Aubrey's hand.
Alexandra: I love you. And what I did...had nothing to do with you.
Aubrey looked at her. He grabbed the back of her head and they touched foreheads. Like they were sharing thoughts. Like they could finally get on the same level.
Aubrey (In a low tone): I'm not ready to let you go.
Tears streamed down Alexandra's face and she was beginning to hyperventilate trying to hold them back.
Aubrey: I think we have a shot at this. And if you can't take this chance then let me take it for you.
Alexandra took a deep breath and Aubrey kissed her in a consoling nature. He was angry. But he his anger did nothing to shadow how he felt about Alex. He knew how someone should be loved and he knew Alexandra acting out was her way of saying she didn't know how love really felt and getting it drove her crazy. The idea she had of love didn't have this. It didn't have fights and abortions and kidnappings and groupies. Bottom line is that in this moment Aubrey had all the cards. All the control. And he still wanted the very thing that seemed deadly.
[Flashback]
Marina and Alexandra were out for coffee one afternoon.
Marina: That whole thing must have been hard for you.
Alexandra (Sipping her drink): Absolutely. I never want to be in that situation again. And it's like I have to live with this burden forever.
Marina: Why'd you do it? If you don't mind me asking.
Alexandra: Me and Aubrey couldn't- I couldn't have a baby with Aubrey right after being attacked. I couldn't focus on a baby when I needed all the help I could get.
Marina: Well what if you guys were married and then you got pregnant?
Alexandra thought about it. This was before she babysat Sade and Spirit. This was before she thought she'd be a good parent. The only reason she refused to have a child was because she didn't wanna bring a child into such a chaotic world and she didn't want her relationship to fall apart as soon as she had one. She didn't wanna be a single mom no matter how well off she was. She didn't fully recognize how much better things would've gotten with Aubrey. And she didn't know how much he actually wanted a child and to settle down.
[Now]
Aubrey: I'm doing everything and making a life for all of us. All that I do is so I can make a better life for all of us. You're just as much apart of this family as anyone else. You might not feel like it but your support is what gets me through the nights on the road and those drunken hotel room nights.
They both laughed.
[Flashback]
Aubrey was in Houston while Alexandra was traveling around promoting her store and clothing line. Aubrey got drunk and called her. They hadn't spoken in a while but -
Alexandra: It's nice to hear from you.
Aubrey (Slightly slurred): I wanna see you.
Alexandra: Where are you?
Aubrey: The Houstonian.
Alexandra was at Aubrey's suite door in an hour. She had a key and walked right in. It was completely dark and Aubrey was on his phone. Alexandra turned on the lights and threw her bag and keys on the floor and kicked off her heels. Aubrey still laid there because he was way too faded to sit up. Alexandra got on top of him.
Aubrey: Hiiiiiiiii Alex.
Alexandra: Hi Aubrey.
Aubrey sat up.
Aubrey: Guess what?
Alexandra: What?
Aubrey: I love you.
Alexandra spelled the Ace of Spades and whatever else on his breath and pushed him away.
Alexandra: Ok. Time for bed.
Alexandra took his shirt off and got off the bed. She began to walk out but Aubrey grabbed her belt loop on her pants.
Aubrey: Stop. (Turning Alexandra around and putting his head on her chest) Stop.
Alexandra held Aubrey. She felt like something was wrong because Aubrey could usually hold his liquor. What's going on now?
Alexandra: Uhhh. What's going on?
Aubrey: Why won't you marry me?
Alexandra: What?
Aubrey: When will you marry me? I can't wait too long.
Alexandra took a deep breath. Alexandra got on her knees and grabbed Aubrey's face.
Alexandra: I love you. And when I figure us out. That's when I'll be ready.
[Now]
Aubrey: Are you ready?
Alexandra looked at Aubrey and shook her head.
