it's hard to be confident when even the people you trust most don't like you. they don't answer. they don't text back. they just text each other. I don't know how to feel if we're only friends half the time. if I'm annoying you, tell me. I don't want to keep playing this game and feeling this way. I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm ignored until I'm needed. and don't tell me I'm not there for you. because I spam and I text and I talk nonstop so I'd definitely be there if you wanted me to be. I know enough about being sad that I could help. but of course you don't. you've always been fine. you don't struggle. but I text anyway just in case. I try to talk to you. because I'm insecure and I'd like to feel some kind of comfort. to know that you're there and you care somewhat that I exist. because you're my friend and that's what friends do. they talk. but I don't get anything back anyways so I'll just stop trying. if you won't put effort in, neither will I. and don't think I don't notice you're changing into one of them. I don't want to lose you. because then I lose everyone else too. because they will always pick you over me. that's how it has always been. and that's how it always will be. I've always just been there on the side. not needed and not liked. why do you even keep me around if you don't like me? I don't get it.
