I miss it more than words can say. I counted down the days. I can't even describe the amount of excitement I was feeling the night before, when I made the poster and I wrote down all the songs that make me happy by the band that makes me happy. their music has always been there for me, and they have always been there for me. ever since that one day at the beach, where I downloaded Tell Me A Lie, my life was different. I'll keep ignoring the whispers and eye rolls I get when I talk about them because one direction was there whenever they weren't, whenever they were too busy being fake and shopping at Pink. one direction is how I met my best friends. they're my comfort zone and my specialty, what I talk about and what I can talk about. some people have geography bees that they're good at, but do you know the name of Harry's first goldfish? it doesn't matter if people think I'm weird because they don't understand. they think it's just some weird phase or obsession, but it's so much more. it's been a part of my life for 5 years. 5 whole years they've given me something. they haven't left me. everyone leaves. everyone gets tired of me or bored and leaves. but one direction is something that I've clung on to because they're a constant. they're something I can always go to to feel happy or sad and in love or anything. they just make me feel something. they remind me I'm alive, that I have emotions and I can dance and have fun but cry and be soulful while listening to their songs. they're my home. and on August 2nd, I was finally home. I was finally with all the people that understood me and didn't judge me and understood what it was like to be in love with a band and to cling to music and hold onto it with everything you've got. they understood because they felt the same. they spoke my language. they wore the clothes and the concert tees and the flower crowns and they understood what it was like to cry over Zayn and what it was like to have 5 (yes still 5. Zayn helped me through a lot and I will never forget how much he did do for the fans and band itself) boys as a home. it didn't matter to them that they were made fun of in school. all that mattered what that we were all there then and we belonged somewhere. we made it to that place where we feel so much love and understanding and so much comfort that we could talk to anyone because we could all carry a conversation about whatever because we were all friends through the boys and the music. we finally made it. and we sang and danced and cried and laughed and swayed and screamed and played with the balloons and tied our converse and ran out of phone charge and got down on our knees in Girl Almighty and yelled the lyrics to Little Things with all our hearts and stared because we couldn't believe the boys were actually real and felt our hearts skip a beat when Niall was the first to walk on stage and closed our eyes to listen to the crowd. it didn't matter what anyone looked like or what anyone sounded like or sang like or danced like because we were all the same. and we were all at the place we were meant to be at. it was the most amazing feeling in the world. and then it was over. and we can't go back.
