why do you think I'm so insecure in my relationships with people? because once again you, who I consider myself very close to, showed how little you really value our friendship. I have stuck with you through everything since Kindergarten. I've ignored your rudeness because you told me it was just a side affect. I've looked past your abusive behavior because you told me you never meant to and that you were just messing around. I've taken all your words and tried to forget them because you told me you were kidding. I've been the third wheel for years but I tried to not let it bother me because you told me I wasn't. I've brushed off the fact that you haven't been there for me in forever because you told me you just needed rest. I've kept my cool when you ranted to me about someone I love because you told me it was her not you. I've shut up when you asked me to because you were in pain and you told me it hurt so bad that I couldn't be myself anymore. I've stayed with you and kept everything inside because that's how much I care about you. I'll look past all that because I'm waiting for those times when I see the old you and the you I love. and maybe I'm being insensitive because it is all just because of the pain. but after months and months, the same excuse only has so many holes it can punch and things stop being excusable. but I'll always be here and you know I will because I love you and you're my best friend. but what hurts me the most is after all of this, you still don't care. and after all of this, I'm still never going to be your best friend.