And as I sat there listening to his songs I found myself staring at his shoes and it was like a window was open. his shoes made me realize so many things. they were these little red and black shoes that looked like little kid sketchers and I started to imagine him as a kid dreaming to grow up and be a superstar but really knowing that he was to grow up and start a family but for even that comfort dream would not be able to be fulfilled when he was divorced not once but twice. that must have destroyed him but still here he is in front of us playing like the happiest person. but I can hear the pain in his voice. what would it be without pain? here I am crying about not being able to sleep over at the neighbors while he comforts me and makes me feel better. I then realized how strong he is and how much I take for granted and how much more pain in is the world than in my head and thoughts. I don't realize how lucky I am and how important youth is and not having to worry about real world problems. how could I ever think of him as creepy or scary and how mean it was of me to judge someone like that? he has had a hard life and I was just making an assumption to seem cooler or to make sense of things when all he was doing was being nice. he is now my most favorite person in the world for not only his strength but talent and kindness and pain and love and everything that he is so my new years resolution is not to be skinnier or nicer or whatever its to never judge someone or shun them until I fully understand their pain and existence. so thank you Shawn for letting me into your mind for a second to see and to know
