Dear me, Dear you

dear me,

I don't know how to start this
everything's flowing in at once
my body is starting to shake why? breathe fay breathe..

well here goes nothing

Dear me,

"I guess that's a good way to start" I said to myself.

I feel as if I'm speaking to myself  I mean technically I am only I'm writing to myself.

so my counsler gave me this journal and said "if you can't talk to me or others than talk to yourself " and handed me this

at the time if felt like a massive idiot like seriously who in the hell wants to write to themselves?  but I guess it's not such a bad idea might as well give it a try right?

it feels awkward saying dear me

but..
I dont know who to write too

I can't write to my  family cause frankly I don't have family or any one worth calling family

I don't want to write to my friends I really don't have many
they'll probably think I'm insane

I have a girlfriend though I could write to her
yea that sounds good I'll write to her

soooo I'll (re)start it like this

Dear me, Dear you
March 25

it's late, and I'm really tired honestly I'm dizzy as hell too I don't think that's good. maybe it's cause I haven't eaten the thought and the sight of food is quite revolting and it makes me want to puke. I feel sad all of the sudden...that's been happening a lot lately I'll be happy like extremely happy then all of the sudden I get this massive rush of emotions and my body shakes and I start to cry and  get sad really really sad. I wish I knew what triggered these things so  could fix it or maybe I just need  to fix me? maybe that's the problem maybe I'm the problem.

sincerely me      

I love you always I promise <3