Dear me, Dear you

walking past this

I checked out of the hospital the next day I couldn't be in there anymore I didn't care how much the doctor's nagged at me about me being to weak at this point I clearly didn't give a rat's ass

They gave me something to eat and then showed me where my clothes were they took the liberty of washing my old ones and folding them and placing them in a bag

When I looked in the closet for them I found my old sports duffel bag from when I used to play soccer

"What is this doing here?"

Fay..

I grabbed the bag and placed it on the hospital bed

When I opened it a poor beaten up wore out journal was placed  directly on the top

I stared at it for a moment but put it aside

I'll look at it later

I pulled out my clothes that fay had picked
It was my black skinny jeans with small holes ripped in them with safety pins all down the sides not for any use but just because I wanted to put them there a long time ago

There were three different shirts at the bottom of the bag

I pulled them out all at the same time and spread them onto the bed

They all had tags on then  as if they were bought brand new

One was a metallica t shirt from their new album I thought it hadn't came out for another month

Then there was an iron maiden t shirt with Eddie on it it looked like it was a picture from one of their concert

And last was a t shirt that she made it had a picture of a pug with a thermometer in its mouth and a blanket wrapped around it then in blue fabric glue
It said the words "never lose hope" she even put her small signature on the corner in purple her favorite color

She always knew me so well

The tears threatened to flood in again but I wouldn't let them I looked to the ceiling and blinked numerous times to hold them back

Once I collected my self I grabbed the pug shirt and put it on

Perfect fit

I gathered all my stuff and put it neatly inside my duffle bag not forgetting the journal or the other bag of clothes in the closet

When I walked out the doctor was standing outside I figured he was gonna give me another lecture but all he said was "good luck" and left

With that I made my way to the exit/entry doors pushing one open with my shoulder

I took a deep breath of the fresh air and started walking home

Everything is so different now but I know I need to walk past this