I finally arrive at the hospital I was afraid to go inside but I knew I had to suck it up
I parked my car and walked and went straight to the receptionists desk
No turning back now
"May I be of assistance with anything?"
"Yes may I have to number to ms Gutierrez's room please?"
"Yes it room 110 first floor"
I gave her a nod for a thank you and walked down the hall
107,108,109,
....
110
I froze I but i had to keep going so I forced myself to get a grip and walk in
As soon as I pushed the door open I heard the beeping of the heart monitor it was at a steady pace so I guess that was a good thing
"Hey belle"
My voice was shaky as I spoke I knew she couldn't respond but I felt as if she could hear me
"I'm sorry for all of this for everything and everyone I'm sorry for me for not fighting hard enough for not being involved enough for not giving you all that you wanted and needed I love you and I know your gonna make it out of this"
I fell beside her hospital and sobbed I grabbed her hand it was cold to the touch but I held it anyway
"I love you belle I love you you've gotta make it you just have too"
I managed to choke a few words out and slowly picked my self up off the floor
I saw her pail face
It pained me to see it but I made myself look anyway
I movies stray hairs of from in front of her face and behind her ear
"God how could such a beautiful girl be so sad?"
Because of you this is you fault stupid idiot!"
"STOP!"
I yelled out loud I grabbed my hair and yanked I begged the voices to stop but they wouldn't
"Stop please just stop"
I said so quit you could Barely hear stray tears raced down my cheeks but I didn't dare stop them because deep down I knew I deserved the pain
YOU ARE READING
Dear me, Dear you
RomanceI used to think it was dumb you know to write things in a journal but I can't keep holding these things in any more I feel like I'm gonna explode if I do... Dear me Dear you August 17 I feel so sick not just physically but mentally I'm just so damn...
