Nightingale [h.s.]

1: In Case

It all happened so quickly.

The time I had spent with her. Every second of the day being able to hold her in my arms. Kissing her at the most random times. Being able to make her smile. Just being with her.

I lost it all.

I couldn't cope with the news. It wasn't true. It couldn't be.

Never in my life did I expect my love to be taken away so quickly without a warning. Ever since that day she left two years ago, I promised myself that next time I saw her, I was never going to let her go.

But now I couldn't.

All I could ask myself was why. Why her? Why did the most innocent people have to suffer the most? And why me? I had finally found someone who I actually had loved more than anyone else in the world and cared for that I'd give my life for them. Why me? Why her? Why us?

I walked along the sidewalk, I don't know where. I didn't care, I was too careless.

I walked as the rain poured on me and soaked my clothes. I didn't care.

My hands were shaking at my sides from the cold but I didn't want to warm them up. I deserved this.

If only I had done something from this happening to her. I shouldn't have let her go. I should have made myself a man and make her stay with me even though we were in high school at the time.

I should have gotten money from all my birthdays and we could've moved into together. We could've started our future.

We could have graduated, gone to college, gotten married, started a family.

But now it was out of reach.

"Bailey!" I cried as I stopped walking and collapsed on the sidewalk, pounding my hands against the pavement.

My hands ached from the smack but I didn't care. It wasn't the same pain my heart had. My heart was worse.

I cried into my hands as the rain poured even harder against my skin. I could hear the cars passing down the road, probably looking at me as if I were a crazy person.

I didn't care.

"I can't lose her, I can't lose her," I cried. My nose was cold hard as were my ears but I wasn't going to do anything about it.

"I need her."

Bailey hasn't changed, I told myself. I knew deep inside she couldn't have forgotten about me, she couldn't. If she did, I would die.

Do you know how it feels like, to lose someone you've grown to love for such a long time and being so deeply connected to them, just to have your heart broken at the end?

How all your nightmares about losing them all of a sudden come true? How you can't cope with the thought of them living a life without you?

How you know that in the end, you won't be able to move on from them?

How you won't be able to be happy without them? How much your heart will ache deeper and deeper each second without them?

How you see them with someone else, you just might break? Your heart will stop beating and your last words will be how much you loved that person.

I can't see life without her. I can't.

I need her by my side.

I want us to go to college together, having classes like we used to. Graduate like we didn't get to do before. Get married and committing ourselves to each other. Moving in and eventually starting a family together.

Taking care of our first new born, teaching it's rights and wrongs. Being able to hear it's first word and being present to seeing her smile about it.

Seeing it walk it's first steps and recording it to play it over and over in the future years. Playing with it when we're not working. Seeing her cook for the three of us and managing to spill something by accident because she'd be distracting from seeing me goofing off with our child. How I'd go and help her and making a cheesy comment about how overwhelmed she was by me and having her slap me by the arm lightly and seeing her cheeks flush to that perfect color she's always had.

Eventually having the years go by and being able to walk hand in hand with our child as we took it to it's first day of school. She'd kneel down to face it and kiss it's forehead and tell it she loves it.

I'd do the same thing and once we go home, she'd miss it and start crying over how fast the years have gone by and I'd be there to have her cry in my shoulder. I'd tell her that it's the way of life and to enjoy it as much as we can.

She'd agree and then we would cuddle together like old times and then she'd bring up the topic of having another baby. She'd beg and beg and I would give in, I'd do anything to see her smile.

A year later we'd be a happy family. I would be a dad to two kids and have a wife. It'd be just the four of us in our little world together. I'd love my kids more than anything and take care of them and teach them the ways of life.

And then her.

I'd know deep inside how lucky I was to have her in my life. How lucky I was to have someone who'd understand me in every way and who would love me the way I loved her.

We'd be happy.

Just her and I in our own little world.

Little did I know that that was never going to happen. And my dreams were torn apart.

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A/N

Hey guys...

I'm sorry if this is short but..

I'm down and I'm guessing you all know why.

Zayn is engaged and I'm torn.

He was the first member I heard of of One Direction and he was the first I fell for. I'd grown to love him more and more each day, hoping that I'd have a future with him as silly as that seems knowing that I'm just a fan and that's all I'd ever be.

He was my favorite and I was a hard core Zayn girl. A few months ago I started falling for Harry and was starting to have more love for him than Zayn but now..

When I heard the news I was completely shocked bc I never thought it'd happen at least for a couple more years. I didn't even imagine him being the first one to settle down. I expected Elounor or Payzer (even though they aren't together anymore), but no. It had to be Zayn.

It had to be the one I loved.

As you can see from the chapter, you probably know that I really put some of my thoughts about him in this chapter just Harry talking about Bailey.

I honestly don't know what to do. I still can't face the fact that he's growing up and so are the others. I just don't wanna lose them. I still see them as those five goofy idiots from the xfactor but time passes so quickly.

We have to cherish and enjoy this time before it's too late and all the boys start settling down and then they're over.

Believe me, I can't imagine life without them anymore. They're each a part of me that I can't let go of.

I don't know what to say, but I hope she cherishes and appreciates him bc he's my whole world.

Who knows, maybe my broken heart will be fixed.. Or not.