Nightingale [h.s.]

9: Everything Has Changed Part II

Harry's POV

"You sure you're okay?"

Her bottom lip had a small remaining of the hot chocolate she had been drinking as we walked through Cheshire, the wind blowing calmly, but you could still feel the coldness through your coat.

"Yeah, I'm fine." My breath shown in the cold air while I spoke. It was six in the afternoon and it had gotten dark very quickly.

"I know it's hard letting go of someone who meant so much to you.." Wait, did she remember? Did she really know how it felt like? "I've had to let go of my boyfriend back in the states and I'm still trying to figure out what'll happen with our relationship but I'm willing to try to get better with you."

She had a boyfriend? How could she have done this..?! Oh yeah, she totally forgot all about me and what we had gone through! Fuck! Why did this have to happen? Of course she'll choose whatever hunk she has across the world over someone she doesn't know, or shall I say, remember.

"Harry?"

I turned my head to her confused expression. What has she done? I couldn't cope with the fact that she's had someone who wasn't me. Why is it that whenever I get time with her, I end up even more heartbroken than I already am? Why did she have that damn power over me?

She could easily make me the happiest person alive but on the other hand, with one word, she can bring me down completely. That's the thing about love, it can make you feel at your highest and at your lowest.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes! I'm fine, I'm fucking fine!"

Bailey stepped back from surprise and fear, and that next second I felt horrible for exploding on her. It wasn't her fault that she had lost her memory.. It was that fucking asshole who ran into her. If he wouldn't have crashed into her, then none of this would've happened.

She would have come, with no memory loss. And we would've found each other again in Uni, and we'd start our life together again.

We'd have sleepovers at each other's dorms, go on dates, spend every living second together.

That's what we were missing.

But the biggest ingredient was her memories.

She didn't remember a single thing.

"I'm sorry," I put my face in my hands for a few seconds before looking back at her now relaxed face. "I'm sorry I exploded on you, it's just been hard."

She nodded, stepping back over to me. "I understand how you feel, I miss him, too."

Can you stop talking about him? I begged her furiously in my head. I didn't even know the guy and I already despised him with every cell in my body. I'd hate anyone who would've gotten close to her.

"Can we just go please?" I couldn't be around her if she was going to talk about her and her boy problems, especially someone who wasn't me.

"Yeah, okay." She nodded before we walked back to the park where the car stayed park.

**

The drive back to London had been quiet for the past two hours. She tried bringing up topics to talk about but all I did was nod and say 'okay.'

It still hasn't sunk in that she had been with someone while I was crying over her being gone.

While I had been crying, she was spending her time with a guy who didn't know how lucky he is. They would be kissing, and cuddling, and hugging. Meanwhile I was the one figuring out what I was going to do without her.

The worst part was that she had no clue that I existed and that I was spilling my guts about my love for her and she was hanging out with someone else who she loved. Not me.

It took all the strength in me not to cry and just spill out the truth to her.

Even though she had the right to know, I couldn't do that to her. It would kill her to know that she was sick and that her parents and brothers had lied to her for these past two years. And as much as I wanted her to know about us, I couldn't say a word. Not just for her, but for me.

I knew that even though she would know the truth, it wouldn't change the way she felt about me. I was a stranger to her, and for all I know, I could be a psycho to her. I would be a pathetic little boy who wanted to be loved by someone who couldn't reciprocate the love I had for them.

I'd end up heartbroken either way.

**

I parked at the front of her and her friend's dorm. It was dark but by the light at the front door of the building I could see that it was a soft grey.

We had finished our hot chocolates along the way, no words spoken throughout the whole way. Maybe this is what was best for us.

No contact.

I had to learn to accept it. Things wouldn't be the same and I couldn't be depressed over this.. At least not in front of everyone. Once the door closes, I could sulk all I want. But I had to keep away from her from now on, it wasn't healthy for me to hold onto something that wouldn't be possible anymore.

This was for the best.

"Thank you for today," Bailey spoke minutes later. "I um, had an interesting time with you."

She couldn't find the right words to say about my outburst.

"There will be no more contact between you and I." I spoke without hesitating. I knew this is what my heart needed. Closure. "I'd rather not talk to you again, please."

"I, don't understand."

"You don't have to. You'll thank me later."

**

Dear Harry,

I talked to you over the phone today. I really missed your voice. I haven't listened to it in such a long time until my parents have me my phone back, but with a tracking device attached to it.

You're okay, I guess. At least that's what you keep telling me. But I couldn't help but wonder if you're hurting just as much as I am? Can you feel that hole in your chest? Is it missing me like mine misses you?

It's amazing how many emotions you can make me feel. I'm alone with the boys downstairs while my parents are at work but don't you worry, the neighbor next door is keeping an eye out for me in case I think of a plan to escape.

I'm in my own thoughts.. With you in them. Every second you're in my mind. Sometimes I think about your green eyes, you're vibrant smile, you're beautiful heart, or just you in general.

How can you be so perfect?

You can make everyone happy the second after they know how pure and honest you are. You can bring out the good in everyone. I know, because that's exactly what you do to me. You bring out the best in me, Harry.

And I can't thank you enough for making me happy all this time. Even though I don't get to see you, just the sound of your voice makes me the happiest girl in the world.

I love you, bubba.

B x

As I read the last sentence, I had to take a deep breath for air. I had to do this. This was the best decision. For us.

"I'm sorry, Bailey." I cried. "I have to."