Persona 3: Never To Leave

Help Me Find You

10/08/09 Dark Hour

Even with the surprise I gave her and the denial she was definitely feeling, she somehow started to move in through my lips all the same. We were probably battling it out for a few minutes at least before we both decided to break out of the lip lock.

“I’m so sorry…” I myself was still unsure about this. With that embrace, what did that make us? “I’m sorry…” Tears were starting to well up at the edges of my eyes. The drops of water fell, one by one against the ground. I think it was all finally hitting me that I would have to kill my friend when all of this was said and done. Were we even friends now?

I couldn’t say we were friends. From what I could tell, it was a feeling driving even deeper than a friend to friend relationship. Yeah… I knew what it was. The words I said before were just for fun… Could that be going through to her as well?

I don’t know if I have the resolve to kill her any more.

It was a standstill for what seemed like hours. It was just the dripping of tears being the only thing that could ever break the silence. That was it. This night goddess… she loves me. That denial is going through… because I already have Mitsuru. From both worlds no less. It was just a whirlwind of thoughts after the other.

And I wouldn’t know how to react. Because I loved Mitsuru. It was probably the most complicated thing I had to deal with. Too hurt to do anything else, and too caring for Nyx that I didn’t know what to do so that I didn’t hurt her. In the end, I was silent enough to leave my mindscape and cry myself to sleep.

11/08/09 Afternoon

When I woke up it was almost noon. Did I really sleep for that long? I had half a mind to go back to sleep, but of course… I was hungry, so that was a no go. I was probably emitting an aura of depression since I woke up, because when the others came back from their summer school course they seemed to be avoiding me.

All but Minato and Mitsuru. Usually when my emotions were as wound up as they were, I would go out and start killing people to take my anger out on them. I was trying to avoid that as much as possible this time around.

Besides, when I did that, I usually ended up feeling worse after killing them. It just became a cycle of endless despair after I started. I wanted help. Some real help. Who would help me? No-one could understand this. After all… a goddess enamoured to some blue-haired fool was no ordinary circumstance…

For all the power that the Universe can grant me, I can’t even figure out what to do with someone who is in love with me. That’s just sad. The frustration within me was turning out to become more like anger, anger, and more anger. It was the feeling when you just wanted to go out and freaking destroy something. Idiot.

05/09/09 Full Moon, Late Night

During the rest of the holidays, people were inviting me to go to the film festival. Of course, I went, but I wasn’t really enjoying it so much as using that time to brood since I already knew the story to most of the movies that were showing.

I was having so much trouble putting up even a somewhat cheery façade that I had to ask Pixie to help me a bit. Needless to say, that even though Pixie was a naturally very cheery Persona, even she had trouble keeping the happy mask up.

She did her best though.

Dark Hour

When the Dark Hour fell, I knew tonight was one of those nights when the big Shadows showed up. I got ready and everything… and we headed off to Paulownia Mall to where I knew the Hermit Arcane was residing currently.