What Doesn't Kill Me...

Chapt. 34 - Stacy

"How am I suppose to tell them doc? No one even knows I'm here right now."

My doctor sat in the chair next to my bed. For awhile he didn't speak, he just sat there. Then he looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

"I hate cases like this when a cancer patient doesn't tell their loved ones that their basically dying... My mother didn't tell us she was dying, she looked healthy, she looked fine, we would've never guessed.. But then she passed away one night in her sleep. We were hurt but we were more angry cause as her 9 children we felt like she could've warned us, threw some hints, something. For so long my three sisters were angry, so angry. They confided in our mother about everything so they felt like she should have been able to confide in them about what was going on... Tell your family Mrs. Adams."

The doctor got up and left. I grabbed my phone and sent a group text as tears rolled down my face.

God help me !

Group Text

S: Everyone get to the hospital asap.

I laid my head back and cried until my eyes got sore, until I had tear lines on my face.

I grabbed my wig and slowly put it on, fixing it the best I could. My room door opened and my husband stood there staring at me.

"What's going on babe? Where's the kids?"

I took a deep breath.

"They haven't arrived yet but that's good. I need to talk to you."

He sat beside me in the bed looking at me with tears in my eyes. I pressed the button to call the desk.

"Yes mamn?"

"Doc when my kids arrive, can you not let them in right now. I need to talk to my husband."

"Will do Mrs. Adams."

"What's going on babe? When did you get here and why?"

I tried to hold back tears as I looked my husband in his eyes.

"I have cancer, breast cancer. I'm doing Chemo but there's really no use any more. I pulled down my gown so he could see my scars on the left side of my chest. I had the surgery that day I told you I was going to see my mother before she passed. I look fine, I seem healthy but I'm slowly dying Trell."

He looked at me shocked.

"If you touched me more often you would've known."

He shook his head in disbelief. Our fingers slipped out of each other.

"Go get the kids so I can tell them."

I watched as he walked out in the hallway. All 4 of my children walked in looking for answers.

"What you doing here ma?"

I looked up at Quan, then Taj, Mon, and Malaysia. I slowly pulled off my wig and stared at my children. Quan instantly caught on as he fell to his knees in tears.

"Come on ma, not you too. That shit took grandma out, and Keisha pregnant."

Malaysia was next to sit down and bury her face inside her hands as Mon sat on the arm of the chair and consoled his sister.

Hearing my son say I'm gone be a grandmother made the tears I was trying to hold in fall nonstop.

Taj ended up in Quan's arms. He did the best he could to hold his sister.

"This not right. They suppose to do something to stop it, surgery, something."

"I've had surgery, I've been doing Chemo, but now its just a matter of time. Your the oldest, take care of your siblings son. Protect your sisters, keep your brother in line. And get out the game. Quan get out of it please.. Your daddy....."

I caught myself and stopped.

Quan and Taj both looked up at me with Red teary eyes.

"My daddy?"

"Our daddy?"

Trell took Mon and Laysia out the room.

"Who is our daddy?"

I hesitated to tell them but I know they need to know.

"DC."

Quan slowly stood up. The pain in his eyes instantly turned into Anger.

"Devonte Cowan's is our daddy? Ms. Debra our grandma?"

I nodded without taking my eyes off my children.

"Why you didn't tell us? Till this day I see posters and shit posted asking for answers in his murder. He was killed in cold blood mama, 16 shots."

I listened to my son vent as Taj just sat there taking everything in. Quan looked in the mirror over the sink and stared at himself.

"You look just like him, both of you have his attitude and no filter mouth. Quan you got his walk and sound just like him. Taj good, thick hair came from him. He was in the streets, made money like it was nothing which caused a lot of people to dislike him. Taj when I was pregnant with you and got that phone call only God knows the pain I felt. Only God knows the thoughts in my head."

"Why you didn't tell us?"

"Ms. Debra didn't think it was a good idea. Yo father was so deep in the streets we wanted no one to know, he didn't either. He wasn't ashamed, but telling anyone who his kids were could've put y'all in danger."

"We just wanted to keep y'all safe. But he did tell one person, his best friend, Tony. After your father was killed he took over and kept everything going. He started a war with the South, it died down but its still going on."

"Till this day, its still going on. And it's all about your father... Till this day."