Barely alive

The branches of life part 4

Toffee. I'm guessing this means food too you. No I didn't not cut because of a piece of toffee on my bed. Toffee was my cat he was fat, ginger, adorable and cuddly. He was one of the reasons I had never cut. He always seemed to be there whenever I was sad, whenever I was distressed, whenever I was distressed he was there. It was like he knew somehow. Like he knew what happened...

Finally, I decided to go to a place where I felt free. A place where I could sit and think quietly. A place where i felt there were no limitations. The woods. A few minutes later I had arrived at the serene woods. The trees grew tall and they were all vibrant greeny-yellowy colours but yet some of the trees had fallen over because of the lightening. I walked until I arrived at my favorite tree and carefully climbed up to the tallest branch. It was 25 feet and you could see everything from up there. You could see mothers taking their child's hand while crossing the road. You could see people taking out the rubbish, getting it ready for the garbage men. You could the sun slowly  setting behind the houses making the houses look yellow, orange and pink. I rested on the branch pressing my back against the branch and looking up through the bright green leaves I saw a couple of black birds taking off together into the sunset.

Amazing. This world. I personally find the butterfly effect the most amazing thing. If you don't know what the butterfly effect is I'll explain it to you. See I can be a nice person if I try. Okay, so the butterfly effect is basically the theory that if a butterfly flaps it's wings in a certain place a few weeks later a hurricane will be caused somewhere else. So, if that butterfly never flapped it's wings in that certain place a hurricane would never have been caused. But...this theory can be linked in with normal every day human decisions.  Okay say that I give a homeless man some money he can then buy some food or water then say his life gets better and he gets a house with help from a long lost relative. And say he went to university before he came homeless and he's actually incredibly smart. Have I hurt your brain yet? I think you've hurt more than their brain Charlie. Oh shut up I'm on a role. Okay now say he gets a job working at a cancer research clinic and he discovers the cure for a cancer. But, imagine if I never gave him any money so he couldn't buy any food or water and he dies because of hunger or dehydration. No cure. People die. Amazing right? Sad but amazing. That's what I think about a lot. What would have happened if I had gone to a different school? How much of a different person would I be? Would I be more intelligent, less intelligent? More funny, less funny? And what would I be like now if I had told my parents straight after it had happened? Would I not be sad all the time? Would I be more intelligent? What happens if I was destined to do great things? Sorry if that sounds stupid. But now because of this thing I lost concentration as a child at school and I'm now less intelligent. But I like to think of this theory as the branches of life. There's one life but their are lots of different ways it can go just like there's one bark and there's lots of different branches.

Maybe it's time too tell somebody. No. I'll keep it until the day I die. No one needs to know. I can't tell anybody...I can't...

Authors notes: Sorry I didn't post yesterday I was incredibly busy but i'll try to post every day.