Barely alive

At least it can't get any worse right? part 26

It was Wednesday. The middle of the day. English. I only had a few more lessons left and lunch. The only thing I wanted to do was get home collapse into my bed, and cut a lot. Then eat half of the tea I make and get rid of it quickly. I had to eat something didn't want my parents getting suspicious. 

I was sitting next to Lucy in English normally Penny would be sitting next to me as well but she was of sick. We were doing a creative writing task on a picture of the woods sir displayed on the screen. Normally, I was good at English but these past few months had been an exception. Everything had been more of a challenge than usual.

"Hey I know I shouldn't tell you this but i thought you should know Penny's been bitching about you behind your back...like a lot." Lucy whispered to me so that sir wouldn't hear.

"What the hell I haven't done anything to her!" I said a little bit more loudly what caused sir to look in our direction and shush us.

"She's saying about how you were interfering in Laura's business and you're being a pathetic bitch. I'm sorry Charlie."

I could not deal with this right now. I felt so enraged and empty at the same time. Who's she calling pathetic! I've been through way more than her tiny brain could ever imagine. Sorry rant over but she'd been like this for months now. It's slowly destroying me. It's killing me...literally.

At lunch I stayed in the toilets in the fetus position until the bell went. During that 30 minutes Laura texted me to see if i was okay. I couldn't reply. Me and Laura were better than ever now but still we weren't as close as we use to be.

As soon as the bell rang I went straight to the library I don't know why but it was always just a calming place to be. I saw Gail on the soft purple sofa that was next to the A-C section of the books. She looked more down than usual and today in tutor she wasn't very talkative. Slowly I approached her and took a seat next to her she slowly looked up and continued to look down.

"Okay what's wrong you've been off recently I'm worried."

"I'm okay really i would tell you if I wasn't."

"Bull what's wrong please I'm here for you." I was getting worried now.

"Recently...I've been having some more weight problems...ya know I had them in the past. Basically recently... I've been throwing up...to lose weight..."

"Oh my god Gail why didn't you tell me I could have helped you earlier. Gail recently, I've been...doing the same thing. You're not alone. I'll help you."

"Okay why didn't you tell me I could have helped as well."

"We can help each other Gail. When was the last time you did it?"

"This morning not in school though I find that disrespectful."

She found it disrespectful. She's one of the sweetest girls I know how could she be doing this to herself. How could I be doing this too myself?

When I got home I didn't go to the toilet and throw up I didn't go to my room and cut. I sat on the sofa and stroked Toffee and I treated myself like a person for the first time in a long time...