Barely alive

Just breath part 37

"I was four when it started. When it ended I was nine." The woman opposite me stared at me in disbelief and sadness. She had the lightest brown eyes I had ever seen in a person. It matched her mousey blonde hair that was put up into a loose pony tail.

"Was the person who sexually abused you related to you Charlie?"

"Yes he was my great uncle, he lived in Canada, he died a year ago."

"Okay so you're safe nothing has happened since then?"

I looked down towards my hands and starting to play with them nervously. Bits of skin fell off of them and I placed  my hands into my pocket.

"No nothings happened since then."

"Okay Charlie we're going to have to disclose this to your family but what I'm going to do is give you a week to think about what you want to do and how to tell them. I'll book you an appointment for next week."

"Okay thank you." Shakingly I got up from the chair and walked cautiously over to the green coloured door. I opened it and walked out leading into a new life.

24 hours before

Laura: I'm worried about you Charlie you've been getting worse.

Charlie: So have you Laura. Snap I guess.

Laura: Charlie I'm serious we have to deal with this now before it's too late.

Charlie: It's already too late Laura you know this. It's been too late for years now. Besides what we even do? I can't tell anyone in actual power.

Laura: I think we should go to the doctors book you an appointment.

Charlie: That is a terrible idea.

Laura: Charlie what colour are you???

Charlie: Black you?

Laura: See not good.

Charlie : And you? What colour?

Laura: Black.

Charlie: See you're not good either.

Laura: Only because I'm worried about you. I don't want to loose you Charlie if you died I'd die physically and emotional.

Charlie: You'd be fine you would have have your boyfriend. You would have Gail.

Laura: Charlie I fucking love you! Don't you dare say that. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you.

A shaky breath left my mouth as I digested the sentence inside of my head. Emotions overwhelmed me as I began to text back.

Charlie: Okay...let's do this.

Fear overwhelmed me once again as I unlocked my phone and dialed the number in. If this one button is pressed my life will change. I can't go back. No more secrets. 

"Hello Gates cross surgery how can we help you?"

It took me a while to find my voice but I eventually did. Trying to be as quiet as possible to not raise suspicion to my parents I answered.

"I would like to book an appointment please. It's urgent."

"Okay love how old are you?"

"I'm 15."

"Okay that should be fine then if it's urgent. We have a free space tomorrow with a Doctor Beth Shewring."

"Okay yes I'll book that please what time will it be at?"

"3:30 love. What's your name?"

"It's Charlie Collins."

"Okay we'll see you then Charlie bye,"

"Goodbye thank you."

Bile was rising in my throat throughout the whole school day as every minute ticked past. More sweat dripped down my forehead and back as every hour passed by. Soon school was at an end. It was time.

The gates to the surgery were welcoming and friendly. The car park was full of different coloured cars that strangers locked and unlocked. Opposite the surgery a row of coloured houses lay there staring at me anticipating if I would go in. 

"You ready?" Laura stood next to me waiting for me to make the first move.

"Yes...let's go."

The room where we waited had at least 25 chairs to sit on and wait for our names to appear on the screens. We had found Dr Beth's room before we sat down just to ease my mind. I felt as if my legs were frozen and I couldn't stop moving. The surgery was full of old couples and a few young children with their parents, me and Laura had found two chairs tucked into the corner where we could have a quiet conversation. 3:30.

"It's going to be any minute now."

"It's okay Charlie it'll all be fine I promise I'm here. Just breath."

*Beep* We looked up from our seats and saw my name run across a digital board with the words "Room 1" next to it. Laura and I hugged a tight hug full of emotions and fear and we both slowly stood up and made our way to room 1...