Barely alive

A trip back to the past part 12

TRIGGER WARNING

It was soon morning. The sun shined bright through the drawn curtains and the room was mildly snug. Julie was still asleep. She had the thin blanket covering her body and her body was curled up into the fetus position. The day was going to be  a good day, we were going to Niagara falls today. It was sunny and I couldn't wait for the cold water of the falls to splash on my face once again. I was safe. No harm would come to me. I know I was safe. It was going to be a good day...

When I got up the stairs everyone was sitting down eating breakfast. They were eating eggs and toast made by the man that haunts my dreams (not even making that up). I knew Julie wouldn't come up to eat until he had nearly finished, she was smart, and scared. As fast as I could i ate quickly then went into the living room to watch TV with my parents. Some show about cats were on. We like cats okay. They're so cute. Anyway soon after we had sat down the monster walked over and joined us, luckily he was on a different sofa to us so I felt a little more safe until I said something stupid. 

"I should have saved up more money so I could buy more stuff." I should never have said it...

The monster reached out his hand and handed me 10 dollars. Cautiously I reached my hand and took it. 

"Okay I think your uncle deserves a hug." My heart drops. No. Please. This can't be happening. Why?

Once again I felt the bile rising in my throat. But what he said surprised me...

" Oh no don't worry she doesn't have to."

" Yes she does." My dad said not knowing this would haunt me forever.

Carefully and slowly I leant in and hugged him I could feel his heat radiating of off him onto me. I could feel his greasy face on mine and I felt like I was going to pass out.  Quickly I pulled away and i rushed down the stairs into my room. Julie wasn't in there luckily, she was in the bathroom. I sat down and breathed in and out slowly. Everything was gonna be okay. You sure about that Charlie? No I thought it had left. I'm here to help you kiddo. Okay. Fine.

10:50a.m. Just 10 more minutes to go until I get out of here for the day. I can do this 

"Charlie we're going soon so go to the toilet if you need to and get a jumper". 

The only thing I needed to get was my earphones if I could find them. I searched high and low for them, behind the bed, under the sofa, in my bag and in all of my pockets but I had one more spot to check. Inside the pull out bed.

But inside the pull out sofa wasn't just my earphones. There was a knife. A knife you would use to hurt someone. It was sharp. Why? Why was there a knife in my bed? It wasn't there yesterday. What the hell was going on?

Kill him. What? Why do you think there's a knife under your bed, where you sleep! He was going to kill you. Okay firstly if he was going to he obviously changed his mind so why would he hide it underneath me? And secondly why would he want to kill me? Why do you think dumb ass? He doesn't want you to grass on him. So one of you is going to die it's you or him. Who's it going to be? You're right. I have to protect myself but how do I get away with it? Who cares how you get away with it just do it! I climbed up the stairs with the knife in my hand gripping the handle tightly to make sure I didn't drop it. I could see him. He was in the garden by himself. It would be so easy. I just had to throw all of my weight down onto the blade and i plunged it into his heart...NO. I have to stop. I can't do this... The rage I felt inside myself scared me. It was like a burning fire digging into my soul. No I'm not evil. Gently I put the knife down on the counter and slowly I turned away and I never looked back...