I guess being in love is a metaphor, the one your great grandmother uses when she gives advice. I guess because I spent my life rebelling against it, I wouldn't know.
I currently, lay in the bed, staring at the yellow ceiling above me. My mom was specific about the color being for girls. We had argued, a day before she painted the hideous color on my walls. I stayed the night out, in spite of her, because I couldn't dare sleep in a room of such color.
I rolled my eyes.
The window across from mine was my friend's, Chanel, but she hated her name so, I called her Nell for short. My mom hates Nell, only because she is a complete lesbian. My mother, Claire, had expressed in many ways that she thought Nell was mentally ill. Homosexuality, to Claire, was no other than a sick disease that her unruly daughter hung around.
She also pressed on the subject on my liking Nell.
During breakfast one morning, she was rather disturbed by the fact Nell had spent the night.
"Do you like her?" My Mother's thick Spanish accent began to spoil my morning already.
"Excuse me?" Even though, I felt her staring at me for God knows how long. I knew what and who she was talking about.
"Oh don't play stupid with me!" She spat, rather harshly. I was beginning to forget my manners. The food I was chewing almost came out on her face.
"I'm not playing stupid, mom, I'm unaware of the subject you are speaking on." She hated when I talked to her like that.
"You want to be a bitch? I'll show you a bitch!" I felt a sharp pain across my cheek.
"I'm leaving now." I grabbed my bag and left before I said and/or did something I'd regret.
My Father waited in the living room, with his paper and the news channel. As I stormed past, he yelled to me, " Goodbye love. Have a nice day."
My nerves had calmed, and I got in the car with Nell.
Now when I think about the question, not only does it piss me off, I just can't think of anything more offensive than how she spoke the words to me.
I looked over at the window across from me. The light was off, but I knew she wasn't sleep. I don't know when she manages to sleep but, I never catch her in the midst of it.
I sat up, and climbed out of bed. I sat in the window seat that allowed me to stare into Nell's room.
As if I was sensed, her light switched on and her blinds scrunched open. I pushed open my window.
"Nell?"
I saw her stretch and she climbed into my window.
"I can't sleep again." She frowned.
"Nell, you never sleep anyway." I smiled, her frown didn't budge.
I sighed, "It's your mama again, isn't it?"
She nodded, and lifted her shirt, revealing a bruise that was showing a dark purple splotch. I gasped.
"You need ice. I'll be back." I attempted to get up but Nell pulled me back.
"You'll get in trouble Luna ." She was scared of my mom, too.
"I'll get into trouble for breathing around her," I rolled my eyes.
"Luna.." She sounded nervous.
"It'll be alright. I'll make sure she doesn't know you're here." I left out and wandered down the stairs.
My mom laid on the pull out couch bed, that sat in the living room. Long ago it was established that my mom and dad weren't in love anymore, but they couldn't afford a divorce.
She looked over at me when I came into the hallway.
"Why're you still up?" She asked.
"I was thinking, I'm going to sleep now." I turned away to walk up the stairs.
Right before I went up, she said, barely above a whisper, "I love you."
I hung my head and turned toward her, "I love you too, mom."
Sometimes, I remember, she would have break downs. It was right after she realized she was no longer in love, she had her first one. She screamed and yelled and next thing I remember she sat on the floor, sobbing. The vodka she'd been filling her mouth with splattered over the floor. I remember rounding the corner of the kitchen and finding her sobbing. All I could think of was how I could make her better. I had got her a towel, and hugged her. She squeezed me back.
I remember caring for Nell as much as I felt the need to make my mother happy.
My head fell into the pillows even more, as I relaxed. Nell was sleep beside me, her light snores filling the otherwise silent room.
I finally fell asleep that night.
