My mom asked if I wanted to file a report. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to lay in bed all day, forever. I kept crying, my eyeballs hurt. The same sharp pain in my left side killing me every time it hit.
A week had passed I was balled up like the tissue around my room. I had to leave though.
My mother walked me into the bathroom, and ran me bath water. I stripped out of the clothes I'd kept on for a week.
She helped me into the tub and I sat down. I felt the horrendous pain all over, I didn't cry though. I let the water fill up and my mother cut it off. She watched me.
I let myself sink underwater, my eyelids shut. The whole scene replaying vividly. I stayed under. And then my mother pulled me up.
"I can't do this." I croaked, as I said it, I saw my mother's heart break.
"You have to go, love. I'm sorry." She caressed my wet hair.
I sobbed.
Nell sat at breakfast with my mother, father, and I. I tried to eat but I felt so nauseous. Nell finally said we had to leave and she walked me out the door.
The drive was relentless. It pursued a sick amount of silence that made me even more nauseous than the food did. We pulled into the parking lot, it was like everything was in slow motion. As the car pulled into the parking lot, I saw everyone look. People stopped walking, they pointed at the car, and whispered.
I felt so out of place. I felt sick.
I vomited outside the door.
"Oh fuck! I can take you back home now." She groaned.
"I can't go back." I croaked out. She parked in a space and helped me out.
"Come on boochie." She walked me to my class and to my seat.
"I'll come and get you after every class." This was the class we had together though.
I kept my head down, I couldn't even attempt sleep.
When lunch came, I saw Tommie sitting at my table.
I got my lunch and sat down quietly.
"Hi." She said.
I ignored.
"I heard about what happened." Tommie whispered.
"Stop talking to me." I growled. The tears started again.
"I'm sorry. I won't bother you again." She left me there and I saw Nell sit down.
"Are you okay? Did she say something to you?" Nell rushed.
"I just want to be left alone." And I put my head down and fell asleep.
It was like this for a week or three more and Tommie kept trying.
"Luna." I hated my name now, every time I hear it, I cringe. But my mother called me.
"Luna, can you hear me?" She waved.
"Yes?" I looked at her.
She sat down in front of me, "I want you to go to therapy. I signed you up, you start next Thursday."
"Okay." I began to day dream again.
I didn't realize my feet started to carry me upstairs until I heard my mother call after me.
"Luna baby? A dónde vas?" Otherwise meant as, where you going.
I couldn't respond, my mind went hazy and my eyes went blurry. I fainted.
I saw memories, my papa calling me his little moon and my mamma calling me her fallen star. I was her dream come true, she used to say. But as I woke up to a bright pink tip of a stick, I saw her myself as her nightmare.
"She's pregnant." They said. I began to sob. Not only because my life was ruined, or because I just had the worst life experience ever about 3 weeks ago, but because I had a human in me now.
The longer I sat there and thought about it, I died inside. I couldn't get rid of it.
I touched the little line on my belly before curling up. My papa called for me, "Come on june bug." He picked me up and carried me outside.
I think my mother knew I wasn't going to kill it, or give it away.
She went right to a pharmacy and got prenatal vitamins, and things for yeast infections.
I was carried into the house and into my room. I climbed into my window and tapped on Nell's window.
She opened it immediately, "Yes?"
"Come over.." I said and she climbed through my window.
"So what's up? I saw you guys leave, where'd you go?" She asked leaning back on the glass.
"I fainted, they took me to the hospital." I shrugged.
"Oh yeah? What was wrong?" Nell sat up.
"I'm pregnant." I hung my head.
"What? You're what?"
"The guy, who raped me, got me pregnant." I folded my legs.
"Are you fucking kidding? Is this a joke? "She became hysterical.
"It's okay." I said, reassuringly.
It wasn't though. We both knew it.
