City Lights

Chapter 21

(Alexis' POV)

"Are you okay Alex?" Iris asked. I didnt answer her question. Instead I just kept looking out of the window and asked "how could he do that? How many people know?" My voice cracked because I had been crying a lot. "I don't know exactly but Asher, Kevin, and Reed's group know...and most of eleventh grade" Iris said quietly. "Maybe it wasn't him...you know Cat can do some crazy things" she continued. I shook my head "it was from his number...I trusted him...how could he do this?" Iris didn't answer me, instead we just sat in silence the whole way to my house.

We pulled into my street. I couldn't wait to get home. I just wanted to lay in bed and cry forever...the pain I was feeling was unbearable. I knew it was wrong to leave Adam with Michael but the worst thing I thought that could happen was that one of them would end up with a bruised eye or busted lip...I thought.

When we reached my house I thanked Iris and walked inside. "Hey Alexis, how was the party?" My mom called out from the living room "I don't really want to talk about it, I'm going to bed" I shouted back before closing my bedroom door behind me. I didn't even bother changing my clothes or washing my face, I just fell onto my bed and cried into my pillow. Soon enough I had cried myself to sleep.

2:35 AM
I woke up screaming and breathing hard. The bedroom door flew open and my mom rushed in "Alexis what's wrong?! Are you okay?" She took my arm and tried to calm me down. I felt my heart racing and I felt like I was suffocating...my hands...were numb and my head was light. I couldn't breathe...it hurt to breathe. "Alex calm down, what's wrong?" My mom cried, but then she realized what was happening...I was having a panic attack. My mom ran to get the oxygen machine we kept in the living room. When she got back she put the mouth piece over my nose and mouth and she whispered "deep breaths...in...and out...it's okay honey it will pass" I was calming down. This wasn't the first time I had a panic attack. It was a usual thing, but I had not gotten one since the beginning of the school year, Adam was always there to calm me down, he would take me outside and help me breathe. I took the mask off...Adam...I started to cry and my mom pulled me into an embrace, she ran her hand up and down my back slowly "it's okay...shhhh...I know it's scary" my mom whispered. But what she didn't know was that I wasn't crying because of the panic attack or because it scared me or even because of the party...I was crying because I had lost him...even though what he had done hurt me...I didn't want to let him go...I now I had lost him...