1. Random Guy #1: Ok so I'm gonna come out and say it. Every time you walk into the room it's like everything lights up and it's just you and me. And then there's butterflies in my stomach.
Random gal #1 : Omg! That's so sweet! I feel the same way!!
Bro #1 : Um... This is awkward... That wasn't for you..... Sorry?
Gal #1 : Oh.
Bro #1 : Um... If you want the truth, you kinda get on my nerves with all the flirting. Yeah...
______________
2. Random stupid bro #2 : You left your phone at my house!!
Bro #2 : Dude! Answer me!
Bro #2 : C'mon you dimwit!
Bro #2 : I'm getting mad! Mothershitting answer me!!
Bro #2 : You know what? Fuck you! I'm not your friend no more.
Bro #2 : Oh wait...
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3. Random badass girl #2 : Hey.
Random whore guy #3 : Why the fuck are you still texting me? I though we broke up?!
Random girl #2 : I know but I wrote a song for you.
Random boy #3 : K. Lemme hear it.
Random girl #2 : Eenie, meenie, minie, mo, caught you cheating with a hoe, you've tried to lie straight to my face, think again you've been replaced!
(Badass random girl! Go you!)
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4. Random dad #1 : Is this Max's girlfriend?
Random girl #3 : Yes...
Random dad #1 : Next time you guys are having sex, can you be a little quieter please?
Random girl #3 : ... I'm in Italy. Have been for the past two weeks. But not right now. Sir, would you mind if I strangled your son?
Random dad #1 : Not at all. In fact I recommend it.
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5. Random girl #4 : What's up?
Random girl #5 : My boyfriend and I went to the mall and he bought me a ring that cost 500$!
Random girl #4 : Reality?
Random girl #5 : Sitting on the couch, eating potato chips, watching the Notebook, and wondering why I'm single.
Random girl #4 : Lol.
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6. Random bro #4 : Hey did you see the clown from Walmart that hides from gay people?
Random bro #5 : No...
Random bro #4 : ^.^ Trolololol.
Random bro #5 : Aw... Fuck... I'm so stupid.
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7. Random bro #6 : Lol, hey bro.
Random bro #7 : What up?
Random bro #6 : My ex posted on Facebook, " I'm standing on the edge of a cliff ".
Random bro #7 : Dude, what the fuck did you say?
Random bro #6 : Nothing, I just poked her. XD
Random bro #7 : Lmfao.
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8. Random bro #8 : Happy birthday, babe!
Random girl #6 : So... What do I get?
Random bro #8 : Starts with "F" and ends with " uck ".
Random girl #6 : OMGOSH! You got me a firetruck?!!
Random bro #8 : -.-
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9. Random bro #9 : Oh really? If girls are so much better than guys, why did god create us first?
Random gal #7 : Well everybody needs a rough draft before the final copy. Duh?
Random bro #9 : ...
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10. Random girl #8 : Did it hurt?
Random boy #10 : Did what hurt?
Random girl #8 : When you fell from heaven.
Random boy #10 : Awww...
Random girl #8 : Cuz your face is really fucked up.
Random boy #10 : ...
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So that was long and a pain in the ass. Next time I'm totally not putting that random bro/girl typo shit in there anymore. Peace out!
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The World's Funniest Shit
Hài hướcJokes, comebacks, insults, quotes, yo mama's, and other meaningless funny shit. I try to find some you haven't heard before because that's just lame if you've heard the same thing again and again. MUST READ if you don't I can't do anything but still...
