1. A blonde couldn't add 10 and 7 because she couldn't find the 10 button.
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2. A smart blonde, dumb blonde, and Santa Claus was walking down a street and saw $50. Who gets it?
The dumb blonde because the other two don't exist.
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3. Death :It's your time, take my hand.
Blondie :I know if I touch your hand I'll die!
Death :Your so smart, high five?
Blondie :OKAY!
* Blondie dies *
Death :Stupid humans.
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4. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the clip and throw it back.
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5. A blonde was driving a helicopter, but then suddenly it crashes.
The police came and asked her what happened.
She replied, " I got cold, so I turned off the big fan. "
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6. A blonde was speeding on the highway, and a police car pulled her over.
A policeman walked up to her window and said," Excuse me ma'am, can I please see your registration and your driving license?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and gave the guy a glare. " I wish you guys would get your act together! You took my license yesterday and you expect me to show it to you! What do you have?! Short memory?!"
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7. How do you keep a blonde busy for a VERY long while?
You write "Please turn over" on both sides of a paper and give it to her.
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8. There was a blonde named Hannah; she was in deep financial problems.
One day she prayed," Dear god, please help me! If I don't win this lottery, I'll loose my house, car, and everything else!"
She didn't win.
The next day she did the same thing and prayed. Then God called out to her," HANNAH! WORK WITH ME, BUY A TICKET!"
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9. Two blondes walk into a department store. They picked up a bottle at the perfume table. Nancy sprayed it onto her wrist and sniffed it. "Smells quite nice, doesn't it Kathy?"
"Sure. What's it called?" Kathy asked
"Viens a moi", Nancy answered.
"What?"
Out of nowhere, a employee replied,"It means 'Come to me' in French.
Kathy gave the guy a muddled look. "Doesn't smell like cum to me. Nancy does it smell like cum?"
Nancy sniffed it once again. "No, not at all."
The employee rolled his eyes and walked away. "Idiots", he muttered under his breath.
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10. A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. On the first day, she cuts in front of a semi and almost knocked it off a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she did. The driver picked up a twig from the ground and drew a circle in the sand.
"Stay inside this. And don't you dare move!" He instructed.
He pulls out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turned around and see her smiling, still inside he circle. So he went to his truck, took out a baseball bat, and started busting he windows and beating her car. Satisfied, he turned around and sees her laughing. Pissed even more, he grabbed his knife again and started slashing the tires. He turned around and the blonde was laughing so hard she was about to fall down with tears in her eyes.
Giving up, he asked,"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!"
The blonde answered with a devilish grin,"Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
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Hey. Bye. IM A PURPLE FAT DINO! Not really, because I'm actually a chicken. Peace out!
*Brofist*
YOU ARE READING
The World's Funniest Shit
HumorJokes, comebacks, insults, quotes, yo mama's, and other meaningless funny shit. I try to find some you haven't heard before because that's just lame if you've heard the same thing again and again. MUST READ if you don't I can't do anything but still...
