Goodbye.

Cuts and bruises.

I awoke. There I was, left in the nearby forest, dumped on the ground like a worthless bit of trash. A pool of blood to the side. Bruises and cuts all along my body. 

Even though I had exhausting pain run through my hands, I pulled out my phone and saw I had 2 missed calls from mum and a missed call from Josh as well as 5 messages. I must've been out for more than I thought. Lucky, I guess I could've been dead... 

I quickly texted my mum saying sorry dinner was late. As I slowly rose from the ground, using as much energy I had left, I pulled up my trousers and wiped away my tears. I used my shirt to clean up the blood from around my bruised face and began to make my way home. I pulled my hood up over my head and walked in the shadows. Even though I was the victim I felt so much remorse. I shoved my hand into my pocket as the cotton from my hoodie scrapped along my open wounds on my knuckle, sending a painful sting up my arm. 

Almost home and seeing my house in the distance I collapsed on the street. I never reacted fast enough to pull my hands out from my pockets allowing my face to scrap along the concrete ground. I was in so much excruciating pain. As I was already over an hour late I pulled my self up and hopped the rest of the way home. 

I finally made it home and walked up the crocked steps. To unlock the door I felt so much discomfort opening up my hands, as dried up blood would tighten around the cuts. I opened up the door and kept my head down. 

"Hello beautiful! Please let me know if you are staying out longer as I was so worried."

I keep my head down and walk past my mum as normal as possible, trying not to show any signs of pain. 

"Sorry mum. I will do I'm super tired so going to get washed and go straight to bed." 

I hugged her keeping my head down as I didn't want her to worry, as she has already been through a lot. I was glad she didn't notice the blood on my shirt as I was quick to hug.    

I walked to the bathroom shutting the door behind me as I collapsed on the floor breaking out in tears. I knew I couldn't cry loud to even show my pain as I didn't want my mum to hear.

Every time I went to wipe them away this sharp pain would hit me from all of the cuts. I lifted up my arm and clenched onto the sink to pull myself up. When I looked in the mirror I realized there is no way of covering this up. My lip was cut, my nose was possibly broken, but nothing was as broken as the way I would feel if my mum ever found out what happened. She is broken enough as it is and I never want to see her in that much pain again...

I turned on the sink, running the cold tap, I slid my hands under the water. My face clenched as well as my fits as the pain was unbearable. Considering how much that hurt I have to clean up the rest of my body. I splashed the cold water across my face. Even though it felt nice to have this cold feeling numb my face and my body as it dripped down, the agony of the cuts burned. 

Turning off the tap and turning towards the shower I turned it on and began to undress. I bundled my bloody clothes in a pile in the corner and stared at my body. All the way from my ankles to my face was covered in marks. Whether it was bruises from being grabbed and violently handled, or where it was being punched or possible thrown down as the ground; or even where I tried to get myself free, I felt so ashamed to even look at myself. I fully undressed and stepped into the shower. 

As the water spilled down my body I clenched onto the shower curtain as it was killing me. Getting use to the striking sensation I ran my finger through my hair, looking up and closing my eyes. Even though it hurt so bad I got washed and opened up the cabinet on the wall and pulled out bandages and plasters to patch myself up with. After performing first aid to myself I put on a t-shirt and a random pair of jogging bottoms and limped to my room. I sat up on my bed as laying down afflicted my body. I unlocked my phone and messaged Josh. 

"Hey sorry I never answered I'm home. X "

Immediately he responded.

"Where were you?! I've been worried sick! I was messaging you to see if you were home I called and everything. I would've came round to check but I didn't exactly know where your house was. What happened?"

Starting to panic at the thought of telling him what had really happened, I tried to control my shaking hands and said,

"Look I am fine. I just got in a small situation that's all nothing happened. I just... Don't think I will be able to make it out tomorrow... X "

My eyes started to burn up and began to fill with tears.

"Why not?.. X "

Obviously I knew he would find out soon as I am going to be bruised and scar'd for a long time, but I couldn't tell him now.

"I just can't...."

My hands began to experience agonizing pain from moving them around to much.

"Please... If nothing happened you'll come and see me or let me come and see you... I want to make sure you okay. X "

At this point it was pointless if I said no.

"Fine..."

"Thank you and are you sure you're okay? X "

As tears began to fall into my cuts down my face I said,

"Yeah of course. Why wouldn't I be? Talk tomorrow."

"Okay sure. I trust you. See you tomorrow!"

He seemed so happy. Every inch of my was dreading to see him. Not because I didn't want to but because I was scared. Not of him but of what he was going to see...