Goodbye.

What's going to happen?

*Beep Beep Beep Beep*

I regain consciousness to the sound of many machines making weird beeping noises. My eyes slowly open as they re-adjust to the sight of the world. My head hurts. My chest hurts. I can hardly breathe. I turn to my right Josh siting there. He still has his equipment with him that helps him. Wait am I still in hospital?! 

"Rachel! How are you feeling?"

Before I answer I take a quick look around the room and see my heart rate on the other side on this weird monitor thing. My heart rate seems slow. I go to itch my nose; as I lifted my finger to the tip of my nose, the side of my finger banged against this tube. Was it really that bad?

"What happened?"

Josh looks at me and doesn't say a word. He just puts his head down and turns around to the window and looks at my mum. She starts to signal him saying no by nodding her head to the side. He looks back up at me and grabs my hand.

"It's nothing to worry about. Honestly. Anyway how are you feeling?"

I can tell by the worried look on his face that he was lying and something was up. I couldn't keep asking I mean he is in hospital as well it's not just me. If he didn't want to talk about any of what's been happening then I wouldn't pressure him to. 

"Yeah I'm fine thank you for asking; just feeling a little dizzy and struggling to breathe a little."

I go to move upwards but my head was some place else which made me go even more dizzy than I already was. 

"Woah careful there! Just be careful you don't want to pull any of the wires out.

Josh moves his hands over to stop me from falling out of the bed. This caused his wires to move and almost fall. 

"Talk about yourself. Thank you for catching me though just make sure you're careful too."

We look at each other and slightly laugh until his face goes dull again. Now I guess I sort of know how he was feeling when I wasn't talking and my mind was some place else. 

As we were both awkwardly siting there his nurse came in and said he had medication to take.

"I guess I better go then huh?"

I laughed but i was hurting inside.

"Yeah you better go. I'll chat to you later, right?"

"Yeah of course you will."

We both smiled at each other until the nurse helped him up and walked him out of the room. As soon as he left I immediately began crying. I had to come and visit Josh in hospital. Find out he has a problem with his heart. Re-think of my dad and stay in hospital myself! While I layed there with my head tucked in my pillow crying I didn't realize he was looking at me through the window. 

After at least 5 minutes of calming myself down my mum walks through the door with something in her hand. She came one step after another placed her bag onto the floor and sat on my bed. 

"Here. I have to go soon but... This is from your dad a while ago. I've been saving it for the right time to give it to you, but no time is the right time I guess. But right now seems like the moment you need it."

She mentioned my dad... It's been years and none of us talked about him. Ever...  She handed me a small note that had my name written on it. In his handwriting. It's been forever since I've seen his handwriting... I never look at anything he has wrote as I'm scared I'll cry. 

"Here. Read it later before you go to sleep. I need to go I will come up as soon as I can in the morning to see you. Your phone is charging on the side if you need anything message me. I will message you when I'm coming up tomorrow."  

She looked at me smiling but each time she looked into my eyes I could tell she wanted to cry. 

"Thank you. I'll be fine I trust everyone here. I think."

She giggled, but soon began to cry afterwards...

"Hey mum don't cry I'll be fine... I promise..."

She looked at me and tried to smile.

"I know you're my strong little girl. Just remember that no matter what happens I've always loved you. And if you ever need anything I'm right here with my arms open and they will always stay open for you."

I didn't know why she was getting so emotional... It's like she was saying good...b..ye... We looked at each other both wanting to cry.

"I need to go otherwise I'll end up staying the night and never leave you alone."

We looked at each other laughing as tears glided down our faces.

"Love you."       

She took my hand and said,

"Love you too."