Goodbye.

Then say it.

"I won't let them."

I'm siting there on the floor as Josh was holding onto me. Him and Dr.J were  staring at each other. The longer they glared the stronger Josh's grip grew. I looked up at Dr.J, he didn't move. I lifted up my arms and put my hands around Josh's bicep. I gripped onto him because I was scared...

"Josh..."

As I said his name the Doctor walked out of the room. Josh watched him leave. He looked at my hands wrapped onto him. The bruises from a while ago were faded. He placed his hand above mine.

"I'm here. Remember that okay?"

We were looking at each other. It's been a while since I saw in his eyes.

"No. It's, not that..."

He moved over a little as he got more interested. I knew we had an argument and all of the shit that happened with the Doctor that Josh saw but, no matter what Josh will try to be there. If he has decided this he deserves to know stuff.

"Well, What is it?"

I wanted to look away but I couldn't.

"Well... I."

My eyes began to water. This is the first proper conversation we've had for a few days..

"Hey. Hey, I'm here okay . You can tell me what's going on."

I removed my hands from his bicep.

"I'm pregnant."

I burst out crying. He instantly wrapped his arms around me pulling me into him. He gazed around the room unsure of what to say.

"Are you sure?"

I sniffled and said,

"I haven't taken the test yet but I know I am... I'm gonna fail as a mum! I can't even look after mysel..."

"Shhh. Just shhh."

He placed his hand on my head keeping me close. I've always wanted a baby; but I wanted to settle down. Find the right one. Get a job, have a house. Have my own life!

"Look at me. Hey! Look."

He put his hands around my cheeks. He squished my face like I was a baby. 

"Listen I will be with you to take the test. Obviously not watch you but so you're sure I will be by your side. I will be with you through every decision you make. To keep it or abort it. I will make sure whoever done this to you will go to jail for this!"

"I don't want you to do anything about them."

"So you'll let the sick fucks walk around while you are possibly carrying their baby?!"

I removed his hands from my face and held them on my lap.

"No I just don't want you to get hurt. Again..."

I rubbed my thumb up and down the back of his hand. I couldn't look him in the eye. Until he raised his hand and placed it under my chin, making me look into his moonlight of eyes. 

"I'm hurt because some one else is kissing the person I want to be with. I'm hurt because I'm scared you'll leave before I get to say what I want to say; and I'm afraid i'll never get the chance."

I looked at him. I leaned in closer.

"Then say it."

He looked down at my lips before pressing his into mine. The sun then entered the room as we disconnected. Lighting up the beauty of his skin. Our foreheads pressed against one another. Our eyes closed and capturing this moment.

"Rachel, I'm in love with you."

I kissed him as he placed his hand behind my neck; pressing me up against the wall as we were siting down. He moved down placing small kisses down my neck. Before moving back up and looking into my eyes as I did to him. I smiled looking down. He lifted up my head smiling back before locking in another kiss.

I'm not confused about who I want even though I did kiss the Doctor. It's just obviously me and Josh had that argument and the Doctor was there. I dunno that kiss just happened. I know I love Josh, I mean he clearly revealed how he felt about me. I trust him more than anyone and to get in arguments with him I guess... I guess I begin to feel lost without him.