Supernatural Preferences & Imagines

Dean and Sam Imagine [MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME]

We all want what we ain't got.

(Sorry, but there isn't any 'you' in here. Just the sad, sad, SAD memories of our dearest and cry worthy Dean Winchester. And his brother who just makes us awe at his awesome hair. Btw, this is when Dean and Sam are separated and Dean is left all alone. ;-; cri OK THIS MADE ME CRY FUCK OK YOU HAVE TO READ THIS WITH THE SONG AND EXCHANGE the girls parts to he and then IT FITS PERFECTLY WHY DO I DO THIS)

Dean sat in his motel room, gazing out the window in front of him. The stars were twinkling and shining their brightest. He figured that, because he and Sam were separated. Maybe it was a sign, a sign that maybe they'd be a whole lot better separated.

He didn't do anything else but stare at the window, watching the night fall deeper. "Sammy..." He whispered, his voice hoarse. Maybe Sam didn't want to see him because he was a screw up. A giant and unstable screw up. Sam probably realized he should've kicked Dean out when he first came to him.

Is that why everyone leave me? Because I'm a fuck up?

Dean sighed and laid on his back, closest to the edge. There wasn't another bed beside him, there wasn't the labored breathing of his brother, there wasn't the yelling of him to get out of the shower or to say it was his turn to get food. There were no "So get this," while Sam was at the motel table, on his geek laptop. There was no one but Dean in the motel room, drowning in his thought with no one to save him and pull him out.

"Dean!"

Sam laughed and ran to his brother. "Can you light them?" Dean stared fondly at his little brother before pulling out his lighter and lighting the fireworks. Sam quickly set them up before sprinting back to Dean to see them burst just in time. He awed and cheered at them bursting in the sky, the colorful lights bombarding their vision.

Dean smiled down at his brother before ruffling his hair. "Hey!" He yelped and smoothed it down. He turned and gave Dean that stupid grin of his, the one that made Dean glad he saved him. "This was really great, Dean," Sam smiled and giggled, making Dean chuckle. "'Course it was, I was with you."

Sam pulled a face before caving. "Yeah? Sure, Dean." Before the boys could get back to Baby, though, there was a crackle and a whoosh that made them jump and run. "What the hell was that?" Dean shouted and stopped turning around. He gazed, horrified, at what he saw. A firework must've malfunctioned and went the opposite way, lighting the whole field aflame. Sam jumped up and down, yelling "Cool" over and over again over the sound of the crackling flames.

Dean turned to Sam before smiling. They both busted out laughing, and Dean was the first to stop. "Think dad will have a fit?" He chuckled, and Sam nodded with a smile. "Should we try to put it out?" "How?" Sam shrugged. "I dunno." Dean just grabbed him and ran, making sure they left before the police showed up.

Dean laid still in his bed, unmoving. His heart hurt and his eyes burned, but he was motionless. He couldn't move, his body was acting as if it had shut down. He just simply sighed and closed his eyes, giving in to the inviting darkness that awaited him.

It was beckoning, calling. It welcomed him with warm arms, but turned cold quickly. Hate filled words made him jerk in his comatose state, and he arched his back. Sam left him. Sam left him because of him. Sam left me because I deserved to feel the pain. Dean succumbed to the hissing thoughts and words, his body going slack. He was tired of fighting. Sam was all he had left, and he left Dean. What else could he do? Fight alone? No, he would rather die than look over at that empty passenger seat. The one that held Sam so many times. The one that had so many memories and meaning. The passenger seat where he and Sam had laughed, joked, fought, forgave, and slept in.

Dean didn't want to live without Sam.

"Give him a chance, Sam. He just wants what's best for you." Dean tried to convince his 18 year old brother. "No he doesn't!" Sam snapped back, roughly packing.

"Sam—" "No, Dean! Why are you siding with him? You're afraid to make Dad mad?" Dean clenched his fist, hiding his hurt with determination. "Sam, just listen—" "No, you listen! I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to! It sucks and I hate it! I don't want to hunt, I never chose this stupid way of living. I can't be normal here, only if I leave. All you and dad want is to stay here and die by the hands of a monster before experiencing life. I don't want that! Fine by me if you want to, I don't care! But don't expect me to help you if you're in trouble, because I'm done with this life and I'm through with being with Dad and you!"

Dean was silent. His heart hurt and his mind was reeling. Sam wanted him to die? And he could care less? "Sam, calm down. We can settle this—" Sam snarled at Dean. "Go away, Dean! I don't need you, I never did! I was young and naïve to have not left when I had the chance! You two are idiotic and monsters!"

Dean didn't make a move to stop him. All he did was say, "If that's what you want," when Sam passes him on his way out. Sam didn't know Dean had left for a week after he left to go watch him and cried every night.

Dean jerked harder in his seat, sweat pooling around his head. Feel the pain, you deserve it. The darkness hissed, clawing at him and begging to drag him down to a deeper level. He didn't want to go back through painful memories. If that was the first one, he was afraid to see the ones to come. He gasped and sat up, his breaths short and uneven. Dean eventually calmed down, laying back on the bed. He didn't try to sleep again, but he lost himself to his memories.

"Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean!" Sam said repetitively. Dean groaned and scowled at him. "What?"

Sam grinned hugely, getting up from his bed. "Close your eyes and count to ten when I say so." He commanded, his cheeks rosy from smiling so much. Dean rolled his eyes but complied. "Not yet!" Sam whined before running away. "Ok, I'm dressing up as my favorite superhero!" Sam called and then began to head back.

Dean smiled softly. He loved his brother, he was the best thing to happen to him. "Ok, now!" Dean began to count to ten, his eyes squeezed shut. "Remember, no peeking!" 7-year-old Sam scolded, and Dean smirked. "8...9...10!" He flashed open his eyes before the settled on Sam.

Dean was silent as he took his brother in. He was wearing his AC/DC shirt, that was too big on him.

"Sam..." He whispered and Sam grinned widely. "You're my favorite superhero!" He smiled, showing missing teeth. Dean almost bawled right then and there, but he didn't. He had to be strong for Sam and for dad. "C'mere," he grunted and pulled him in for a tight hug.

It was a moment he swore to himself that he would never forget as long as he lived.

His eyes were blank as they stared at the chipped ceiling. It brought little happiness to him, since all he could think about was that he was a monster. He wasn't a superhero anymore, now he was a monster that needed to be killed before it hurt anymore people.

Dean finally let himself sleep again, prepared to give in to the ever dooming darkness.

"Dean!"

Dean didn't move.

S...am?

"Dean!" Cas was by the hunters side in an instant, touching his forehead to heal him in case he was hurt. But it couldn't do anything, he wasn't physically hurt, he was mentally. He peeled his eyes open and sat up, seeing it was dark out. "What day is it?" He grumbled, and Cas looked confused. "Thursday. Don't do that again, you're needed Dean."

Thursday? But I fell asleep Tuesday...

Dean couldn't ignore the rumbling his his stomach and the bags under his eyes, even if he got sleep. "Ok," he mumbled, "ok..."

But he couldn't help but think, what if he never woke up again? And, shamefully, the thought made him peaceful. Sam would be happy, Cas would be happy, everyone would be happy.

"No we wouldn't."

Cas pushed Dean out the door. "You need to eat," his deep voice commanded. Dean nodded numbly and let Cas push him out.

Anything to make Sammy happy...anything...

Do it.