There's been a part of myself I've hated since I realized how many problems it caused in my life. This year and last year were my most difficult years because I had to start coming to terms with it, there was no more pretending it wasn't true, no matter how much my family and God would hate me for it. I wanted someone to talk to about it, I needed someone. So one day during second period health I went to you and I was going to tell you, and we talked and talked but I couldn't say it, I wasn't ready to. Maybe if I had told you then what happened after wouldn't have been so bad. One day you brought it up yourself and you literally seemed so disgusted I wanted to cry. I know you aren't against it, but the way you spoke that day crushed me word by word. It made me think that if even you couldn't accept stuff like that maybe it really was wrong and maybe I really was disgusting. I hated myself so much for so long and then one day this year you told me it was the same for you with the "beats and blood" stuff.
I hated you, I hated you so much when we spoke about this. It wasn't your fault I hated myself, I would hate myself no matter what, but it was extremely devastating and then to find out you were the same I don't know why, but it made me angry. Why would you do that? Why would you make me feel like total and utter shit when it was the same for you? Why'd I have to feel so alone if I really wasn't? Why...
-missing you xx
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts I'll never share with you
Short StoryThe thoughts of a sad person struggling to deal with the loss of one of their most valued friendships. Written in the form of notes to said person.
