Why doesn't she treat me like an actual person? Why doesn't how I feel matter? She's in control of every thing I do yet, she doesn't even stop to consider how I feel about any of it. I'm going to waste away doing nothing, being no one, because I'm here..at home..stuck. I'm always babysitting and all I wanted was to hang out more this summer, but she's decided that I'm not old enough or mature enough to be around people who date other people? Like the actual reasons he told me I can't hang out with anyone anymore is because she took my phone and went through my messages and saw that one of my friends kisses people? It's not okay to kiss someone, but boy is it acceptable to completely violate my privacy and cancel all trust you've lied about having because you're a mother and you're the one in charge.
I'm a person too. How I feel matters. I'm going to die here, I'm going to suffocate because each day I'll wake up and I won't be able to do anything but the same routine that I did yesterday.
I know I'm not a horrible person, I know that I can't put what I want above my siblings because I have to watch them when no one else can, and I know that I stress myself out and break my back to make sure I do well in school, why is it after I make sure of that I still can't be trusted to make good decisions? I'm not trying to go get pregnant and drop out, I want to relax and hang out with people I feel comfortable around who don't pressure me to be someone I'm not. I want to take a break from suffocating, I want to actually breathe but it's like she doesn't want me to.
-missing you xx
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts I'll never share with you
Historia CortaThe thoughts of a sad person struggling to deal with the loss of one of their most valued friendships. Written in the form of notes to said person.
