I've known I'd never be good enough. Not for them, not for myself, not for anyone. So...why does it hurt so much now? At least it's something I can pinpoint but gods I already know how much of a failure I am I just...didn't...I'm not used to being reminded of it anymore. So I guess, in a way, I needed it. Because if I'm not reminded then maybe I'd think otherwise but even then I wouldn't...it doesn't matter. Just 2 more days now anyway.
Maybe I don't know how to fix myself because I'm already beyond repair.