"Don't get destructive. I'd rather not have it end bad for all three of you."
I don't know why I forgot you said this to me too. Guess that makes two. It almost feels like you both knew it would happen. I guess I failed both of you then. Myself included so a total of three. Maybe more. I wouldn't be surprised. I feel bad. Well. That's an understatement. I feel like shit about it. I'm disappointed in myself for so many reasons. But I don't know how to stop. Sure, some could say it's just as simple as "just don't continue indulging in things that are harmful to you," but I don't know if I can just "stop" like that. I'm not addicted. I don't feel like I need it. But...it's how I cope. I don't know if I can do the whole talking thing anymore and have it be enough.
