I was completely in dazed by his statement and I couldn't help myself to wonder if by chance I was the only remaining person inside this asylum who had its insanity intact.
Two months to live?
I tried to look around my surrounding, trying to find hidden cameras inside the room just in case I was in a reality show.
Is this a prank?
Am I supposed to laugh now?
I failed my suicide attempt, followed by waking up inside an asylum and now, I only have two months to live?
Oh come on! You must be kidding me!
"Are we done now?"
"I'm sorry Jam but that is the truth and whether you believe it or not you are bound to live with that life limit. The pills you took might've failed to take away your life but on the other side it caused severe damage in your blood vessels and arteries. You had history with heart problem when you were younger and after overdosing, blood clots within your heart vessels appeared. Soon it'll get worst and the bloods which supplies oxygen in your body well eventually fail and your heart will completely stop." Dr. Kim sighed.
"Transplant is still possible but I can't assure you that will be able to get a donor with this short period of time." He added.
I was drowned by the overwhelming information Dr. Kim had spat out. I should be happy right? I'm dying. I'm leaving this miserable world, maybe not the way I wanted but still, I am going to die. Why am I suddenly scared?
"Was that all?" I asked with no hint of emotion on my face. In front of Dr. Kim I was able to hide the fear building up inside of me.
"If that's all then I think you should let this dying person go and enjoy her last days." I stated as I clutched the hem of my hospital gown. "Talking to you won't make my life any longer." I added with gritted teeth.
He sighed and nodded, disappointed by my respond and stubbornness. "As you wish Jam, please make the most out of your remaining days."
"I will surely make the most out of my remaining days inside this hell."
My assisting nurse came inside the office, grabbed the wheelchair's handle and pushed it back to my room. It was already 10:00 in the evening and all the patients were already inside there quarter sleeping soundly. As we passed through the spacious living room, I caught a glimpse of the moon engulfing the dark yet starry night.
"Yoongi, can I stay here for a moment?" I hesitantly asked, expecting for my request to be declined.
He gave me a suspicious look before he nodded. "Sure, you know what to expect if you do foolish things."
It was an easy conversation, at first I was confused that he easily let me off but I realized that he must've felt pity over a suicidal brat who has a very little time left in her hands. He brought me near the glass window pane before walking away.
I moved the curtain side ways to get a better view. The moonlight shines perfectly swallowing the darkness while giving a guiding light. It was full moon— how beautiful.
"People don't notice your beauty because every time you appear they're drifting into sleep. I hope I could be like you who can shine brightly in this darkness."
It took me seconds to realize that tears were already flooding from my eyes and rolling down onto my cheeks. I was having a mental breakdown, a perfect time for me to synchronize every detail and absorb everything that was revealed onto me.
I am dying soon.
The feeling of death lurking around you and suddenly snatching your life away like a thief was dreadful and my ugly sobs were all over the silent and dark living room.
"I-I'm going to die." "Why should I go through all of this?" "Can't I just die peacefully without being scared?"
I didn't know when but I only found myself kneeling with my palms face flat on the floor while it's back catches my tears. My shoulder was shuddering as I try to catch my breath when an arm engulf my body, making me haunch in the cold floor with my head being pressed into a warm chest, too close I could feel the sound of beating within it.
"The moon is not always in its full form, it does not unfailingly shine brightly, there are times when it becomes a new moon and isn't visible since only its dark side was facing the earth."
I was still buried deep in his chest while I savor the warm vibe he gives off. My sobs were replaced with loud weeping as I let all my sadness and frustrations out to this unknown man. I have nothing to lose I'm going to die soon and shame was already deleted in my vocabulary.
"I screwed up!" I managed to utter in between my sobs.
"Why did you say that no one notices the moon? Then how about you? A while ago you're totally hypnotized by its loveliness."
It was comforting, his words were soothing. I looked up, tears still in my eyes and gaze onto his. Despite the darkness the moonlight was my guide as I examine his features. Perfectly curved thin lips and sculpted small pointed nose matched his hazelnut eyes almost disappearing as he smiled.
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"Why did you think that no one notices you? How about me? A while ago I was totally captivated by all your fairness."
The way his lips moved was mesmerizing and all I did was to get lost in every word he said.
"I'm Jimin and just like the moon I've notice you."
