SHE CHOSE DEATH | Jimin ✔

twenty three

"I-i l-like you, Jam I love you." Jimin confessed, his eyes glistened with hope.

You have no idea how much I wanted to say those too.

All I wanted that moment was to shower him with kisses and then hug him like tomorrow never existed but it was impossible to begin with. My body and lips responded opposite with what I truly wanted.

"J-jimin you can't, you know you can't!" I pushed him away while my heart ached upon seeing how disappointed he was.

It was too much for me to see how weary his face was. How his tears was almost at the edge of his eyes and how he was barely trying to stop it from falling.

Thus, I decided to runaway without looking back.

My mind was in chaos and I didn't even know where my feet will bring me.

It sucks! Running away from the one you like and care about.

This was what I'm good at, running away. It was always like this, me trying to escape from every adversary ahead whilst no one would come after me but this time was different, far way different from what my usual escape.

A hand suddenly gripped my forearm which caused me to stumble and almost land in the ground face first but instead I was turned back like a round table landing inside a warm embrace with a heavy panting mixed with a beautiful heartbeat ringing onto my ear.

"Can't you trust me J-jam? I am not that vulnerable, you don't need to protect me because I can handle the pain." Jimin cried.

"I-i can't," I said as I tug the hem of his shirt.

"I don't care if you die today or tomorrow what matter to me the most is being with you till your last breath."

"Easy for you to say," I smiled bitterly and moved back, his warmth fading away.

"Why are you so stubborn?"

"Why are you so stupid?" I said in monotone.

To say that his body was already emitting an aura of frustration was an understatement. His left hand was balled into tight fist whilst the other combed his hair flattening each strands sending it to back.

"Jam, you can't tell me who I can't and can like! You don't have that right. We are out here can't you see? We're free!" He yelled.

"Jimin,"

"If I tell you that I love you it's not out of impulse and you can't just shut me up by saying that I couldn't because that is way too unreasonable!"

"Jimin,"

"What's the use of us escaping from the asylum when you're still stuck in your own shackles of restrain and hesitation? You don't have to please me or anyone anymore, for once can't you try being selfish and get a life?"

"Jimin,"

"Who cares if you're going to die soon? I'm not that gullible not to notice that you also like me, so please don't give me some bullshit that I can't love you because I don't care if you only have a minute to live! Fuck that disease of yours! Fuck that dying concept!" He screamed and breath heavily.

"Jimin, you're stupid!" I yelled back as the tears in my eyes threatened to fall.

Who are you to shake my heart! Who are you to say such things in such a wrong time!

Everything he said made me feel more hesitant to die, every single word spilled from his lips made me want to latch onto life tighter. Those exact words, his words, surely I'm going to miss.

"I know, I guess we're both fvcked up now." He beamed, his tone was back to its usual.

Jimin's smile was contagious and I couldn't help but to beam back upon seeing how patient he was with me despite of pushing him away. Maybe I could try, maybe for once I could also take some risk and not act like a scared cat. My heart was beating in fast pace due to the sudden hope and excitement I felt, indeed I felt alive.

Taking a step forward near Jimin I looked at him in his eyes and smiled but before I could even fully come near him my chest was suddenly struck by a stinging prick of needles. Automatically, my hand clutched my chest tightly and the tears threatening to fall before had already fallen due to the unbearable pain. A buzzing pain struck my ears and dots of black and white's appeared in my vision which turned my knees weak.

A strong pair of arms caught me from falling on the ground yet I could only squeeze my eyes shut as I struggled to grasp for some air. My throat felt like burning and it seemed that my airway were getting thinner.

"J-jam!" The waver in his voice instantly made my eyes open. His fingers slightly tappex my cheeks and when I finally brought myself to see his face clearly, guilt suddenly crawled onto me. He was in panic and fear was written all over his facade.

Not now! Please not now! Not yet, I silently prayed. I still have to try being selfish, I still have to shower Jimin with kisses and compliments, he don't deserve an ending as tragic as this. He was the most precious human being anyone could have and he deserve so much better things than this, please not yet.

He was crying and his tears fell on my face, he was chanting incoherent words which I tried to hear but to no avail I couldn't. That was the last image I saw before another pain struck my chest, erratically pumping blood all throughout my veins yet no oxygen seemed to reach on my entire body.

His face was the last thing I wanted to see but not like this, not this way. It was night time but another wave of darkness engulfed the surrounding and when everything had fallen in the pit fall of nothingness, Jimin's face was the last thing I had a glimpse of before darkness was the only thing left for me to latch onto.

Please not yet, not now.

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a|n : please anticipate the last 3 chapters :[