SHE CHOSE DEATH | Jimin ✔

thirteen

9 pm— the thud of my feet echoed across the corridor as I loiter around aimlessly. I was taking my chances of having to catch a glimpse of Park Jimin this night. It was like an unsolved mystery for me onto how he could appear like some sane human being at night and act like a mute during day.

As I went further I noticed a room where the lights were still open. I quietly tiptoed moving forward to the room and as I settled near the door frame the realization was late for me to notice that it was the office of my psychiatrist Dr. Kim. Reminiscing my encounter with him in those past days were nerve wrecking and thus made me want to puke. With no much deliberation I decided to walk back and keep on searching for Jimin instead. But my steps were halted when I heard Nurse Min's voice which came from the office and instantly made me flinch and frozen on my spot after hearing him yell string of profanities.

"It's been 2 years Seokjin! 2 years!" He stated with a glint of exasperation was mixed in his voice.

"I know! But let’s give him more time. We can’t give up on Jimin after all that we went through." Dr. Kim answered, his voice still composed.

"I am patient Jin! 2 years of working in this hell hole you think I'm still not? Schizophrenia can be cured within 6 months but Jimin still unresponsive with all the treatment." A loud bang erupted from the room after Nurse Min’s statement.

My ears were stuck in the surface of the door as I tried to squeeze out more details from their conversation. Yoongi's voice was loud and clear while Seokjin's was just as loud as murmurs but still comprehensible.

"I don't know!" This time it was Dr. Kim who was yelling back. "He already showed some progress but it stopped in the middle, his not cooperating anymore." Seokjin finished off his sentence with helpless voice.

"He’s not cooperating? Then maybe he doesn't want to be treated. Maybe he just wanted us to let him be..." Suga paused for a moment, "maybe he doesn't want us to help."
“It doesn’t matter if he wanted help or not. It’s enough that we lost Hoseok and I will never let Jimin or anyone from us suffer. Just give me more time I’ll figure this out.
Dr. Kim's voice was firm and Nurse Min could only sigh in return.

"I’ll give you more time but I hope you stop blaming yourself with Hoseok’s death and Jimin's situation right now. We've moved on Jin, all of us had moved on. Please stop living in the things you regret not doing in the past."

I could hear footsteps nearing the door and as fast as I could I hastily pulled my ear pasted on the doorframe. Going straight into the corner of the corridor, I squeezed myself into the tight space while I pursed my lips. I stood there quietly until I could hear his footsteps no more.

I managed to breathe out before I relaxed my tense nerves. After a minute or so,  I finally decided to come out from my hiding spot. Taking two steps forward I was suddenly blocked by a ghostly pale white nurse.

“I wasn’t aware that aside from being a brat eavesdropping is also a hobby of yours.”

Out of pure shock and embarrassment, I did not wait for him to continue his words. I immediately ran away headed straight to my room. Crawling back onto my bed and covering myself with blanket with face flushed red.

“Ahhh! Why am I so stupid! I’m going to die soon why do I keep embarrassing myself?!”

…

Morning came— I was expecting Yoongi to scold me after running away after discovering that I was eavesdropping last night with his conversation to Dr. Kim. But when he visited my quarter to give me my meds and breakfast he was nonchalant acting as if the situation didn't even occur last night. I was beyond relieved knowing that he might not even care at all and I wouldn’t need to hide my face for a long time.

I took the silver tray filled with food taking it in the front yard. With high hopes I was expecting to see Jimin seated on the same spot from the other day. My eyes scanned around the front yard with vision zooming back and forth, my gaze settled to the lone figure of a man seated on the bench while his hands settled on top of his lap.

I went closer and silently settled myself on the bench at the opposite back of him. I do not intend to get closer after being scolded by Yoongi. I sat there quietly as I chewed my breakfast while his gaze was still fixed at the empty space above.
There are instances where I think that he was just acting to be sick and all but seeing him this way I started to consider the idea that it was me who went crazy after imagining that a schizo had talked to me for some nights.

I grew busy indulging with my pudding I didn't notice that his assisting nurse approached him, not until she spoke.

"Mr. Park your friend is here to visit you I hope you enjoy his stories." After she spoke softly the nurse walked away and a tall blonde man came after.

Why can’t my personal nurse be as nice and caring as that?! If only I could exchange her with my pale feisty nurse.

Jimin's visitor sat beside him while I took few secret glances. Upon hearing the man’s baritone voice I couldn’t help myself to smile. He was telling him stories comically onto how he taught his cat to swim but was bitten in return.

I acted as if doing other things while eavesdropping. Sometimes I wonder if I was a paparazzi in my pass life. I should've learned my lesson last night after being caught red handed by Yoongi. Now, here I am once again listening to other people’s business.

"Chim, Jin hyung said that you're not cooperating with your sessions? We're all waiting for you outside it’s been long since we played all together."

Jimin was still stoic despite the evident pain in his friend’s voice.

"Guess what, Jungkook and I like a girl and her name is Sugar. Funny right? I always remember Yoongi hyung when someone mentions her name."

Seokjin, Yoongi, this guy and Jimin is all connected?

"She's not that pretty but she's nice and I think she really likes Jungkook a lot. Sugar and I are so alike that it makes me want to pursue her more even if Jungkook adores her so much. Ah!!!— Jimin this is complicated! I hope you'll get better soon so that you could drink some soju with me when I feel down."

Jimin's friend has his own ways of telling stories that even it was sad you'd still feel calm while listening. Hearing him talked about the outside world felt, good it was like I was also listening to my own friend talking to me.

"Please get better soon I don't have someone to hang out with. Yoongi and Seokjin are busy here in the asylum, I don’t know what keeps Namjoon hyung busy this days and I couldn't hang out with Jungkook more often because he’s in the last year in senior high. Ah! This is so sad the seven of us used to be together all the time why did we grow apart?”

The wooden bench creak after the man stood up.

"I’ll visit Hoseok today, I missed him and I know you also do. It's been two years Chim, I think that's more than enough mourning over him. We're fine now, you should be too."