Coward

Chapter Nineteen

She pushes a plate of scrambled eggs across your the bench. I murmur a small thanks as I begin to pile eggs into my mouth. In between chews I look up at her thin face. Her tired eyes look at me in worry. "What day is it today?"

She doesn't respond instead she turns her gaze out towards the clearing. I sigh and place my fork down on my plate and push my it away. I can't eat anymore. "You don't know, do you?" I accuse weakly.

She shuts her eyes and holds her fingers to her temples and massagers her head. "Please, Florence just shut up."

I sit up straighter and stare at her definitely. "You can't just disappear for days and show up just to tell me to shut up," I say calmly.

She looks back at me angerly. "Don't speak to me like that," she says sharply.

I'm taken aback because I didn't speak to her like anything. "I have every right to say and sound how I want," I say in a harsh tone.

"Florence just shut up for a moment I had a hard night," she easily dismisses me.

"A hard night doing drugs?" I ask, hatred lacing my voice.

"What I do is none of your concern," she defends, her dull eyes flicking in anonace.

I stand up and shout, "what you do is of my concern, I am your fucking daughter!"

"I know that," she screams.

I hold out my arms and gesture to my surroundings. "Do you really?"

"What do you mean?" She asks.

I look at her with so much intensity. How can she not realise? For the past year, the hardest part of my life, I have grown up without a mother. She left me while she jumped into a pit of self pity. She's meant to be the strong one, she's not meant to be the one that leaves. However things don't always work out how they are meant to.

I sigh and look down at the floor. "It doesn't matter, just forget about it," I mumble.

She rolls her eyes, "you are so ungrateful, I do so much for you and you treat me like dirt. I still have the bruise on my cheek from you," she points accusingly at me. "The last time I saw you, you slapped me. You never do anything for me or this family."

I flinch at her words but remain definent. "What family?" I raise my hands again and sarcastically look around the house. "No one's here mum. Do you need me to spell it out for you?" She is willing me with her eyes that glisten with unshed tears to stop but I'm not feeling like a very considerate person right now. I am hurt and I want her to feel pain too. "In case you have been too jacked up on meth to notice my dad isn't here." She flinches at my words but I continue on in my fiery rage. "He fucking left and to be honest I don't blame him, going back I wish I left too." I can see the tears leaking from her eyes. "Your precious child isn't here, maybe you have been so drugged up you have forgotten about him?"

She shakes her head, "no, I could never forget."

"Well he's dead, he's never coming back," I scream, tears forming in my eyes.

"Don't say things like that!" She snaps.

But I continue like I hadn't heard her. "When people die you're meant to come to the magical realization that your remaining friends and family shouldn't be taken for granted!"