Coward

Chapter Twenty Six

I shiver as my body adjusts to the warm temperature of the truck. I looked over at Mason, his chocolate eyes were hard as they focused on the road. His knuckles white as a result of a death grip he has on the steering wheel.

My hair is plastered against my face as I push it behind my ear. Mason's eyes wander over to me for a moment but they quickly snap back onto the road.

He is pissed.

After a few tense minutes of silence I decide to break the ice. "Thanks for picking me up," I mumble as I lean my head against the window.

He sighs, "yeah, you interrupted something."

I smirk, when he picked up, it was clear that he had a girl with him.

"What?" He snapped into the phone when I had rung him.

"Mason?" I asked, making sure I rang the right number.

"Belle?" He questioned, softly. In the background I heard a frustrated groan.

"Why'd you stop baby?"

My eyes had grown to the size of the moon as I was without words, if we were on better terms I would have given him a high-five. "You finally popped Maddie's cherry?" I smirked.

I laugh as I sit back upright in my seat, "so you finally deflowered Maddie?"

He throws an accusing glare my way, "I was about to when you rang."

I laughed even harder, "what? Did I ruin the mood?"

He doesn't answer as he focuses on the road.

I sigh and awkwardly play with my hands, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he ground out.

I smile weakly, "well that's good, cause I'm not."

Mason sighs, "what were you doing in the middle of the city, at night, in the rain?"

I shrug, "running away."

"Aren't you a little too old for that?" He sneers.

I ignore his hostility as I answer, "I don't think it's an age thing."

He shakes his head, "I think it's more of a cowardly thing."

"I don't think so," I look out at the passing darkness.

"And why's that?"

I shrug, "well I'm still here."

He scoffs, "and what's that suppose to mean?"

"That I'm still alive," I say without emotion.

I have thought about suicide a little too much over my lifetime. I'd find myself standing on the edge of bridges, cliffs and roads wondering if I should jump. Wondering if I should just take the plunge, see what's on the other side. Wondering what a difference it will make. However I never did it. It's not because I couldn't bring myself to do it, that I was too weak. No, this was the easy way out. The way with less pain. The cowards way out.

Mason is shocked into silence and we go another few minutes in thick tension, until this time he decides to break it. "Is that why you were by the water?"

I shake my head, "I am many things Mason, but I am not a coward."

*************

I smile weakly at Mason as we pull up outside my place, "thanks for the ride."

He frowns as I get out the car but I just ignore it as I jog through the rain and up to the front door. My shoulders sag when the sound of the engine is gone and the headlights that illuminate the forest in looming shadows has disappeared. The darkness engulfs me as I unlock the door using the key under the gumboot. Mason is gone, why don't I like the sound of that?