Coward

Chapter Thirty Four

I didn't move from my spot on the floor, my body hovering over my mums cold and lifeless one. When the room had grown dark and my eyes started to strain to pick out the faint specks of red in her blue eyes that were so alike Axels, I decided it was time to call the ambulance. So I sat alone in the dark as I waited for people to arrive. I spent my time hiding any drugs that may be lying around and just enjoying my mothers company.

No, I decided that I wasn't afraid of dead bodies, I was more afraid of her suddenly coming back to life. As mush as I enjoyed zombie movies and novels a real life version of said events would not be pleasurable. This thought alone motivated me to call Josh, I really didn't want to worry him with whatever mysterious business he was up to but I think this was a priority right now.

He picked up on the second ring.

"Look Florence I really can't talk right now, can I call you back?" He said distractedly.

I shook my head although he couldn't see me so I put the action into words, "no, this is important."

Perhaps he heard the numbness in my voice but all of a sudden I had his full attention and his voice was filled with worry. "What happened are you okay?"

I shook my head again, "no, I'm not okay."

"What's wrong," he demanded, too loud for this otherwise deadly silent house.

"I'm in the dark with the body of my mum," I said slowly as my mind processed the words that I said, they didn't feel like they came from me.

"What do you mean?"

"She's dead Josh, she's so cold." I whispered.

On the other side of the line I heard rustling and then muffled talking. Then Josh's voice came back, soft and gentle, "I'm on my way as we speak."

I don't reply as I see the flashing of lights echoing through the trees, the ambulance and a couple police cars crawl up the drive way.

"I can hear sirens, Florence please answer me." His voice is lined with worry but he is desperately trying to cover it. "Are you hurt is that why there's sirens?"

"Don't worry Josh, but I've got to go," I say distractedly.

"Don't hang up on me," he says it like it's meant to be a demand but it is weak.

"I'll see you soon," then I disconnect the phone and place it on the bench. There is a curt knock on the door and I open it to meet the bright white light of a police officers torch.

*************

I am waiting in a pristine white room, everything feels so sterile and cold. Beside me sits Crystal, she has an arm around me as if trying to protect me from the cold. She keeps telling me that everything will be alright and I just nod because I agree with her, things will be better now but I don't think she could ever comprehend that.

I texted Josh telling him where in the hospital we were, it had been about six hours since I called him and he's still not here, it's eleven at night.

I have recalled Crystal telling me if her mothers losing battle with cancer and she repeats that story now for me.

"Mum died two years, three months and ten days ago." She grimaces, "it's a little weird that I count the days but it is what I do."