Coward

Chapter Fourty

"Your mother's funeral is tomorrow and I want you to be there," his voice is harsh but that is just the way it was since my brother died, if anything it is softer. I haven't heard his voice for so long, I didn't think I ever would again.

"Okay," I find myself saying without my own consent.

"Good," is all he says before hanging up.

I hold the phone to my ear as I listen to the empty beeping of the disconected call. As I slowly bring my phone away from my ear the world comes back into focus, I can feel the wind buffet my hair from the wound down window and I can feel my heartbeat roar in my ears as Josh's hand is pressed firmly against my lower back, preventing me from falling. I love him so much right now.

He doesn't say anything and nor do I, I know that he herd it all, we were too close not to. I lean my head sideways against his chest as he hugs me. No words are needed, no words are ever needed between us.

*************

When tomorrow became today I was wishing it was yesterday. But wishes don't come true, beleive me I have tried countless times but somehow I still use the expression and I am met with the dissapointment of all my unanswered wishes each ad every time. This is when I find myself in a bath tub, spending more time than nessasary underwater.

when Josh walks in I reluctantly rise to the surface, he just smiles reasuringly at me and I smile at him back. It's a real smile, it almost always is when he's around. He holds my eye contact as he holds out a towel to me and I rise to take it. When I wrap it around my body he steps foward and kisses me.

"I don't think I've ever told you this but you are beautiful," he smirks, "rather stunning actually."

When I look behind him at our reflections my cheeks are flushed red and when I meet his eyes they are almost black and a smirk adorns his face. "You are very beautiful too," I smirk back at him.

He chuckles, "why thank you ever so much for the compliment."

I nod, "oh, I'm always willing to boast that ego of yours."

He shakes his head, "I don't have an ego, I'm just honest."

I just roll my eyes and slide past him back into the bedroom to where Josh has laid out a bright summer dress, the material what like yellow lace and I had to squint my eyes a little as I waited for them to adjust.

"Well isn't this just the contrast to a funeral," is all I can say.

When I look at him he is wearing a completly black suit with a yellow tie, the same shade as the dress. "What's wrong with a little contast?" He raises an eyebrow at me.

I sigh, "but cliché funerals deem black as acceptable."

He just continues smirking at me, "but love, what about you has ever been acceptable or cliché so why start now, I like this unacceptable girl and I'm not going to let her put all that on pause the second her father comes back." All I can do is stare at him and I see doubt flicker across his eyes and he quickly shrugs, "anyway what's the harm in spicing things up a bit."

Before he could blink I kiss him, I kiss him hard and almost brusingly. My towel is on the floor but I couldn't care less. Before things can get more heated and he too romoves his clothes I turn away and quickly get dressed. When I turn back around he is still in the same spot.

I give him an amused smile, "you okay there?"

He just nods and coughs a little, "I really wish we didn't have to leave."

I laugh lightly at his pained expression, "sorry we don't have time to fix your little problem."

He scowls, "you know that it is more of a big problem."