Coward

Chapter Thirty Five

Dad never showed, never came to visit his daughter after her having just lost her mother. Josh was beyond pissed after we had waited until evening and still my father didn't come. The doctors deemed me healthy enough and discharged me, handing me grief concelling pamphlets and sending me on my merry way.

When we walked into Josh's appartment Sunny was sitting on the couch eating ice cream for apparently his dinner which right now sounded like the best idea all day. So I smiled thankfully at him as he handed me a bowl of cookies and cream and sat down to watch a movie together.

Josh looked at me painfully, "I have to make a few phone calls."

I smiled at him reassuringly, "that's okay, I should be fine."

I thought he was looking at me doubtfully but it was more of a concerned stare, "are you sure."

I nodded, "yeah I'm sure, just go do your thing I'll be fine. Sunny will keep me company," I gestured in the direction of the blond? haired man sitting next to me.

Seemingly accepting my answer he nodded and went up stairs to the study. I leaned back into the sofa and let out a contented sigh as I ate a spoonful of icecream.

Sunny looked at me out of the corner of his eye, "you mean a lot to him you know."

I smiled genuinely, "yeah I know."

Sunny chuckled and raised his icecream bowl in a kind of toast, "for the record, unlike Austin who has constantly tried to warn you to stay away from Josh, I however am on team Josh."

I raise my bowl to and we clink them together, "so this is your way of saying you'd ship us and that you can stand me being around."

He shrugs, "you're alright, kid."

I laugh, "I knew that you always liked me Sunny."

He rolls his eyes and focuses back on the telly, "I'm not going to ask why you were in hospital but I'm a curious guy so I'd like to know."

I suddenly don't feel too hungry but I continue eating it to avoid a curios stare from Sunny, although I start to feel sick. I sigh as I too focus on the screen, "I had a panic attack and faited continuously after realising I'm going to have to see my dad now after my mum's sudden death. Also I think part of me being in the house for half an hour before realising she was actually dead, like I just thought she was passed out." I shrug and frown slightly at how calm my voice is, I hum softly, "looks like I'm still in shock, right now none of this stuff seems real."

When I turn to look at Sunny I find him staring at me intensely. His eyes are full of sadness, "shit I'm sorry Belle, that's really fucked up."

I throw him a smile, "don't worry about it, she was going to die someday it just so happened to be today."

He just nods thoughtfully, "yeah at least you knew your parents, like I've never met mine." He chuckles darkly, "I just found out the other day that my parents aren't really my parents."

I nod, "yeah sometimes life just fucking sucks."

He also nods and we clink our bowls together again as we go back into our own minds. The television's on but I don't take much notice. I'm thinking things over in my head, but at the same time I'm not thinking at all. I seem to do that a lot actually, think but not, like some kind of meditation.