They Don't Know About Us

Nothing's Wrong

*Nicole's P.O.V.*

I walked upstairs towards my room. I could see Niall talking to Aislinn. He was trying to explain what happened. I walked into my room, and locked the door behind me. I sat on the edge of my bed. I stared at the wall for a moment. The silence seemed to swallow me, trapping me. Then, I realized where I was. All alone, no one could see me. I curled up in a ball on top of my bed. I pulled my knees up to my chest and started sobbing. All those horrible nightmares took over me, swallowing me whole. All the sadness seemed to quickly seep out of my body. I was having trouble keeping it all in, but I won't cry in front of the others.

I stood up, and walked to my razor. I didn't even need a second thought. I quickly ran the razor across my wrists. Creating two cuts on each wrist. I cleaned up the dripping blood, and put my razor on the shower rack. I felt relief coming over me. Cutting was helping me calm myself. It felt nice to have a small bit of sadness leave me. I quickly washed off the dried tears that covered my face. I seemed presentable now. I walked out of my room, and down the stairs. I saw everyone stop talking, and turned when they saw me. I plastered a fake smile on my face. I walked back over to Niall, and stood by him.

"What were you talking about?" I asked, cheerfully. I obviously knew that it was about me. I was trying to get them to talk normally to me, instead of being afraid to break me.

"U-Um, nothing," Harry answered, nervously.

"W-Well, I promised Eleanor I'd visit her once I got home, so I better go see her," Louis said, quickly. He was obviously trying to get away from the awkward silence that had filled the room ever since I arrived. Louis quickly started to leave.

"I better see Rachel," Zayn said, following Louis out of the room. I saw them leave for the garage, leaving me alone with Niall, Aislinn, Liam, and Harry. The room was silent, no one knowing what to say. I saw Niall's hand reach down to grab mine. He held onto my hand and touched my wrist, accidentally. I winced from the slight pain. Unfortanutely, Niall noticed. He quickly picked my hand up, and raised it to his head. I saw his eyes grow wide when he saw my new cuts.

"Were you cutting?" He asked me, shocked. I quickly ripped my hand away from his grasp, "No, I wasn't."

Niall frowned, "But, I just saw the cuts."

"There aren't any cuts on my wrists!" I argued. Niall was surprised by my increased voice, "B-But I jus saw them. Why are you denying it?"

"Because I don't cut!" I argued, "I'm not like that!"

Niall was extremely confused and shocked by my odd reaction, "Why are you acting like this? You are denying everything! Why are you lying to me!?"

"I'm not lying!" My voice had now risen so I was yelling, "Why don't you believe me?!"

"Because I can see that you were cutting!" Niall yelled. I winced when his voice yelled at me. I saw Liam grab Niall's arm, and pull him closer to him. Liam whispered something into his ear. Niall ignored him, and pushed Liam off of him.

"Why are you acting like this?!" Niall yelled at me.

"I'm acting normal," I simply stated. I turned around, and walked up to my room. I shut the door behind me, and sat on my bed. I felt tears starting to pour down my face as I stared ahead. I covered my face with my hands as I cried. Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I quickly washed off and dried my face. I sat back on my bed. I saw Niall walk in, looking shameful of himself. He looked at me, a look of guilt in his eyes. I simply looked up at him, and smiled, "Hi Niall," I greeted him cheerfully. His eyes widened by my tone of voice.

"W-Why are you acting like this?" Niall asked me, his voice almost sounded scared. I looked at him confused, "Acting like what?" I asked, innocently.

"L-Like all happy!" Niall exclaimed, "You act like there's not a problem in the world!"

"Well, everything is perfect," I replied, a happy tone in my voice.

"No, it's not!" Niall yelled at me, "You are hurt, I know it! Why are you acting so happy?! You were cutting a few minutes ago, and then you act like nothing happened! What the hell is going on in your head?!"

"Nothing," I mumbled, trying to end the conversation. Niall looked regretful of his previous actions, "L-Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"There's no need to be sorry,"I replied. I saw Niall leaning in to kiss me on the lips. I paniced, and quickly looked away, avoiding him. He looked up at me, what are you doing?" He asked. My gaze fell to the bed, embarrassed, "U-Um, nothing."

"Why won't you kiss me?" Niall asked. I shrugged, acting like it was no big deal, "I don't know. I just don't want to."

"Please, tell me if you're scared," Niall begged, "You don't have to hide anything from me."

He reached down to grab my hand, but I quickly pulled my hand away. Niall looked hurt. He turned his head away, so I couldn't see his eyes. He stood up, his back facing me, "I can see that you don't want me here, so I'll go."

I didn't say anything as he walked out of my room. I stared at him as he walked away. Once he was out of sight, I broke down. I hid my face in my forearms, as I laid on my bed. I wanted to just hide away and cry. Now, because of my actions, I'm going to lose Niall. I just can't seem to get close to him. Ever since I got raped, I just can't be intimate. I'm scared I will be hurt by it. Being raped three times is very traumatic, and you just feel dirty. You feel like your body is worthless. No one should have to touch me. And, I don't want anyone to touch me.

*


*Niall's P.O.V.*

"Niall, what are you doing?!" Aislinn whispered/yelled as I walked down the stairs. I reached the bottom of the staircase, "What?" I asked her, confused.

"Are you trying to get Nicole to kill herself?" Aislinn asked me, angrily.

"What did I do?" I protested. Aislinn crossed her arms, "You yell at her and try to force her to tell you why she's acting that way. Do you really think yelling will help her?"

"You don't understand!" I argued, "She's cutting again! You know how horrible it is to see the one you love hurting yourself? She's almost killed herself from cutting!"

"Well, scaring her won't help!" Aislinn exclaimed, raising her voice to a yell. I started at the ground for a moment, creating silence, ".... Why am I even telling you this?" I mumbled, "You wouldn't understand..."

"Oh, really?" Aislinn challenged, "Why do you think Nicole and I became friends easily?"

I frowned, "What are you trying to say?" I asked her, still confused. Aislinn groaned, annoyed that I couldn't guess myself. She lifted up part of her shirt, exposing only her stomach.

I was not expecting this. Covered all over Aislinn's stomach were scars, cutting scars. I gasped, "Y-You cut?"

She sadly nodded, "Yeah, b-because of my bad childhood. My foster parents would always kick me out because of my bad habit."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know," I apologized. Aislinn shook her head, "No need to be sorry. Just don't try to scare her too much. I should know. If someone yelled at me, it would make me want to cut even more. You just have to be careful of her feelings. She's almost broken."

I nodded, "I will." I was about to walk away, when Aislinn grabbed my arm, "Wait, Niall. I need you to promise me something."

I turned around, "What?"

"Promise me you won't tell the others," Aislinn said.

"But" I began, but Aislinn interrupted me, "Please, Niall?" I sighed, "Fine."

Aislinn smiled, "Thanks."

*


It was late at night, so I walked into Nicole's room to check on her. I walked into her room, and saw her sitting on her bed. She smiled when she saw me, acting like she didn't have a care in the world.

"Hi Niall," She cheerfully greeted me. I slightly waved my hand, "Hey."

"What is it?" She asked me, like she just wanted me to go.

"U-Um, well, I was wondering if you wanted me to sleep with you," I said, awkwardly, "I know how we've been doing that for the past few days, and well I wanted to- "

"No, I'm fine," She answered, simply. I felt a little offended by her simple answer, "You sure?"

She nodded, "Yes, I'm fine. Good night, Niall."

"Good night," I mumbled, and left to sleep all alone.

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Hey girlies.. I didn't go to school today because I'm sick, so I planned on updating all day, but in reality I was asleep all day. Lol(:
I will be updating later today!! Comment, like, and follow loves! xoxox-Madison