They Don't Know About Us

Stay Strong

I drove the car up to the garage, and sat in the car for a moment. I need to hide this red mark on my cheek. I searched my bag, looking for something that would cover up the mark. I found some concealer in my makeup bag. I looked in the mirror, and carefully covered the red mark. Soon, you couldn't even notice it, so I got out of the car. I walked inside the house.

As I walked in, I noticed how quiet it was. I walked over to the counter, and saw a note:

Had an interview. Be back at seven. Love you!

~Niall


I read the note, tracing my finger over the words love you. I wanted to hear Niall say it. I almost smiled, then remembered all the events of today. They all replayed in my mind, preventing my smile.

I walked over to the kitchen, and was going to grab a snack, since I didn't eat lunch at all today.

"You don't need that that much food, fat ass,"

Those words made me freeze. I looked at the food in my hand, and then quickly stuffed it back in the fridge. I looked down at my thighs, and touched them, feeling the excess fat inside them. I didn't need food.

I walked upstairs to my room and into my bathroom. I felt the urge again, as the insults replayed in my mind. I grabbed my razor, and lifted up my shirt. I looked at the bruised skin. The skin was tender, and in pain, I can't cut that skin. I could cut my thighs. I lowered my pants, so my thighs were showing. I quickly grabbed my razor and created a few cuts. I felt that sudden relief, making me feel better, when I had no one who could right now. I cleaned up the cuts and went into my room. I need to find a way to distract myself. I grabbed my book bag and started on homework. I soon finished and it was around six. I had an hour before the boys get back. Aislinn also works until eight tonight, so I have an hour to do what I want.

I went back to the bathroom and grabbed my razor. I created new cuts along my thigh, enjoying the usual pain. That's how I entertained myself for an hour. Once it was about seven, I changed into a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt. I simply climbed into bed and fell asleep. I didn't want to have to lie to Niall when he gets home, so I just won't talk to him at all.
*


"Bitch,"

"Slut."

"Stupid drunk."

"Self-harming freak."

"Oh, look the little whore was crying!"

"We don't want bitches like you at our school, so why don't you run away again?"

"Keep running, wimp,"

"You don't need that that much food, fat ass,"


"Aw, gonna cry?"

"HEY GUYS, SHE REALLY IS A WHORE! SHE'S HAD SEX ALREADY THREE TIMES!"

All the insults of today replayed in my dreams reminding me of my hatred towards myself. Each insult made a knife dig deeper into my heart.
*


I woke up with a cold sweat covering my body, and tears were streaming down my face. I sat up, trying to catch my breath, and saw Niall in the doorway.

"What happened?" He asked, concerned of my appearance.

"O-Oh, I just had a nightmare... About Father," I replied. Niall believed it, "Oh," He replied, before walking over to me. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to his body.

"I'm fine, Niall," I lied. He looked down at me, "Okay, well, I'll leave you to go back to sleep, love. Good night."

"Good night," I mumbled in reply. I crawled into my bed and fell asleep.
*


I woke up to another morning. I really didn't want to go to school, but I can't tell Niall or the others why. So, I'll just have to keep going, things will get better. Please, let things get better.

I pulled myself out of bed, and took a shower. As I cleaned myself, I felt tears sliding down my cheeks, blending in with the water. I finished, and dried off my hair. I put my hair up in a messy bun, and put on a new outfit. Then headed off to school, without eating breakfast.
*


I parked Niall's car in the parking lot. I was so scared to go into school, but I have to. Today I just showed up on time, so then I would just be able to go to class. I quickly walked into the building, trying to avoid everyone, suddenly, I felt myself tripping. I hit the ground, and heard everyone laughing. I quickly pulled myself up again, and walked to my first class. I sat in the back, trying to avoid everyone, like usual. I pulled out my notebook, preparing myself for class, not mentally of course. My head was swirling with the insults.

"Hey, Nicole," I looked up to see Marie sitting down beside me.

"Hey," I quietly replied, my voice weak. I really didn't want to talk to anyone.

"I'm so sorry about the last few days," Marie whispered. I shook my head, "It's not your fault. Besides, I'm fine. It doesn't bother me."

Marie frowned, "That's hard to believe. Tell me the truth."

"Nothing's wrong, Marie," I replied.

"Nicole, stop keeping your feelings locked up."

"I don't need to tell anyone what I'm thinking. No one needs to know, so just stop talking about this," I said harshly.

Soon, class started, and Marie couldn't reply to my last comment. During the class, I acted like I was paying attention, but, in reality, I was trying to avoid Marie. Soon, the class finished, and I rushed out before Marie could even talk to me.

Another class had passed, and now it was time for creative writing. I had to avoid Chase, Rain, and Clara. That is going to be complicated. I walked into the classroom, and sat at a seat near the back of the room. I pulled out a notebook, and tried to make myself look occupied. Unfortunately, I was found. Chase took a seat beside me.

"Nicole, we need to talk," Chase said, sternly. I continued doodling in my notebook, "No, we don't have anything to talk about. Nothing is wrong."

"No, it's not about that," Chase replied. Wait, then, what does he want to talk about, "Huh?"

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Chase asked. Of course he'd ask that.

"No, Chase!" I exclaimed, hoping my increase in volume would help get my point across more successfully. Chase then quickly crashed his lips onto mine, and I immediately pushed him off.

"Stop it, Chase!" I exclaimed, "I already have a boyfriend! I have too many problems going on right now, and I don't need you to add more."

"Maybe you are the jerk everyone says you are," Chase muttered, "Just... Stay away from me."

Chase got up and walked away. I was alone again. That was good and bad. I had just lost two friends. Rain no longer wants to talk to me, since she saw Chase kiss me. Clara, she isn't even here today. I feel so alone, and I want to stay that way. I tried to pay attention, taking a few notes, but my mind kept wavering. I'm so scared. Lunch is coming. I can't go to the cafeteria. I'm just too scared.
*


Lunch time had come around. People pushed past me, as I stood alone in the hallway.

"Whore," a guy muttered under his breath.

"Stop eating so much, fat ass," A girl muttered. Suddenly, someone pushed me to the ground, "Stop getting in people's ways, slut," a girl snapped at me. I pulled myself back up, and had made my decision. I quickly walked over to the girl's restroom. Bad mistake.

When I walked in, I realized the two girls who had helped beat me up yesterday were here. Crap, this is bad.

"Oh, look who joined us!" The blond exclaimed. The brown-haired girl smirked, "Oh, we can have lots of fun together!"

She pushed me to the ground, and my head hit the wall behind me. They took turns kicking my already damaged stomach. The brown-haired girl then pulled me up. She hit me straight in the eye. I gasped out from the pain, and she let go of me, allowing me to crumple into a pile on the floor.

"Good enough from now, We'll see you later."

The two girls left the bathroom, leaving me all alone. I quickly picked myself up, and hid in one of the stalls. I sat on top of the toilet seat and grabbed my bag. I grabbed the pencil sharpener, and pulled out the blade.

If I cut, I will feel better. That's my new philosophy. Since I was in a stall, I decided to go the easy way. I rolled up my sweater sleeve. I looked at my bare arm, there were only a few scars on my wrists, that's it. I guess I better decorate my arms with scars.

I pressed the blade against my skin, creating a line, brimming with blood. That wasn't enough. I need more pain, I need more relief. I created another cut. I bit my lip, and released, once the blade left my skin. I created a couple more cuts before starting to clean them off. I unlocked the stall door, and walked into the bathroom.

I looked in the mirror, to see my tear-stained face, and my face had a huge bruise over my eye. The tears had washed away my concealer, so the red slap mark from yesterday had reappeared. I need to cover them up before my next class, or before anyone sees me. I pulled my concealer out of my bag, and began to cake my face in makeup.

Soon, the bruises were barely noticeable. I heard the bell ring, telling me the next class was about to start. I quickly grabbed my belongings and left the bathroom. Time to finish off the rest of the day.
*


The day had ended, and I quickly rushed out of the school, trying to avoid everyone. Suddenly, someone tripped me, causing me to fall to the floor. No one helped me up. Everyone stared at me, and a couple people laughed. I felt someone's hand yanking me upwards.

"Miss us?" I heard a girl whisper into my ear. It's them. I need to get away right now. I pulled away from their grasp, and began to ran. I sprinted down the street, as fast as my feet would carry me. I ran down the road, and soon found that I was at a dead end. I turned around to see those three girls staring at me. I felt myself back towards the corner.

"I-I'm sorry!" I exclaimed.

"Break up with Niall and we won't bother you anymore," One of them spat out at me. I shook my head, "No, I'm not going to break up with him."

If I do that, he'll know something's wrong. I don't mind taking a couple beatings for our relationship.

One of the girls kicked my ankle, causing me fall to the ground, my ankle was now throbbing. They did the usual kicking, as I was broken on the ground. They finally ran away, leaving me all alone. This is just like a repeat of yesterday. Is this going to be the rest of my college life?

I pulled myself off the ground, and limped back to the car. My ankle was in swelling, and I have to now hide this from everyone. I don't know if I should tell Niall? Maybe therapy would be better than this. But, I really need to be in college. Niall wouldn't waste a minute in dropping me out. He never thought this was a good idea. I really want to finish at least two years.

I can hold on, right?

I got in the car, and put on concealer again. My face was covered in so much makeup it wasn't even funny. I drove the car back to the house.

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I TOLD YOU I'D UPDATE! Even though it took me forever. I would of updated before this but I fell asleep, lol. Well, I can definitely update tomorrow. So good night! Comment, follow, and like! Bye lovelies! -Madison