They Don't Know About Us

My Life Is a Lie

How many weeks have passed by now? Oh right, two more. Two more horrid weeks of nonstop cutting, bullying, lying, sobbing, beating, isolation, and torture. Cuts cover both my arms and a few scattered ones on my thighs. I've completely avoided my stomach, because of the bruises. My face is now always covered in concealer. I can't be myself anymore. I can only lie to keep everything hidden. I'm so scared that Niall and the others will somehow find out. I can't let him find out.

I pulled myself out of bed, a cloud of depression still covered me. No more sunny skies in my world.

I walked over to my dresser and searched for something to wear. I searched through my jeans. No, I can't wear any of these, they're too tight, I'll look too much like a slut. I found a pair of sweats. Those are baggy, not tight at all. I found a loose sweatshirt that would cover my scars and make my fat less noticeable. I put on a pair of boots and combed the tangles out of my hair. I don't wear makeup anymore, because I'll look like a whore. The only makeup I wear is concealer, to hide the bruises and red marks.

I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder. I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch in about three weeks. I eat a little bit of dinner, but not much, and try to skip it when I can. It would be too noticeable if I ate nothing. I'm always constantly checking my weight. I've dropped down to 95 pounds. I've lost 13 pounds, but I need to lose more. I need to be perfect. Then, maybe, someone will like me. I want to be their definition of perfect. I'm trying so hard, but no one seems to notice.

I walked out to the garage, and drove Niall's car to college.

*


I parked in the parking lot. My hands had a death grip on the steering wheel. I don't want to leave the protection of the car. It's all I have. I'm so scared of everything. I just want to be alone.

I took a deep breath and got out of the car. As I walked by, most people ignored me. A few people snickered. Then, the group of bullies pushed me to the ground. They laughed as I fell. I pulled myself back up. I just want to get away from them.

"Just kill yourself already, skank," A girl snarled at me. I felt tears starting to spill over at that one insult. The one insult that stabbed a knife directly in my heart.

"Aw, the little whore is crying!" a guy yelled at me, "Get the hell away from us!"

I quickly rushed away from the group, as they laughed in the background. I walked into the school, navigating my way through the halls.

"I heard that she had sex when she was sixteen!" I heard someone say, as I walked by.

"That's what happens when people date celebrities. They quickly go to that stage in a relationship!"

The insult was followed by snickering. I kept my head down, trying to block everyone out as I walked by. Because I did that, I accidentally knocked someone to the ground.

"I-I'm sorry," I quietly apologized, and helped pick up their books. Laughter was in the background, due to my idiotic mistake. Why am I so stupid? I looked up to see that the person I had knocked down was Clara.

Her eyes locked with mine, "I'm really sorry about all that has happened to you," She whispered.

"No need to be sorry," I mumbled, "Nothing's wrong."

I pulled myself up, and walked away, so Clara couldn't talk to me anymore.
*


My first classes had passed by, and now it was time for creative writing. I walked in, and found my way to the back of the room. No one sat by me. Who would want to sit by the school freak?

The teacher started class, "Students, today, we are reading our essays to the class. I will pick out the first person to read at random."

I closed my eyes, praying to God that I wouldn't have to go up in front of the whole class. I didn't want to get made fun of.

"Nicole Everense," She announced. Of course. I grabbed my essay out of my bag, and walked over to the front of the room. My knees were shaking, and my palms were sweaty. I really don't want to do this.

"You may begin," The teacher told me. I took a deep breath, and started. Everyone's eyes were on me, so I kept my eyes locked on the paper, letting my hair hide the sides of my face. I read off the page, stumbling over nearly every word. I found myself stuttering because of how nervous I was. I could barely say every word. I heard a few hushed laughter as I read. I wanted to just sink away.

The whispering started up, and the laughter grew louder. The teacher shushed them, and told me to continue. After what seemed like forever, I finished. I quickly walked back over to my seat. The teacher lectured them on how rude they were. I just hid in the back, trying to prevent tears from falling. Just make everything stop.
*


I can't take this anymore. After this class ended, I decided to ditch my next class. I went to the bathroom to hide there for an hour. I hid myself in one of the stalls. I grabbed my bag, and pulled out my pencil sharpener. I grabbed the blade. I almost felt happy to be able to let out some frustration. I rolled up my sleeve, and slid my blade across the bare skin. I loved this feeling of pain. I let the pain in the inside of my body show through onto the outside.

I created a couple more cuts, enjoying the flowing blood. I want to hide here forever. I sat on the floor of the stall, creating more cuts. I looked at all the blood covering my arm.

Soon, the period had ended, and it was time for lunch. I prayed that the bullies wouldn't come in here today. I sat on top of the toilet seat, and brought my legs up, so they couldn't see me.

I heard the bathroom door open, and chatter filled the room. When I heard my name, I listened in.

"Hey, did you hear about all those kids bullying Nicole Everense?"

"Yeah, isn't she like famous or something?"

"Yeah, she's dating the one guy from the boy band, One Direction. I think his name is Niall Horan."

"Why would he be dating her?"

"I have no idea..."

"Are the rumors about her true? How she has a lot of sex and does self-harm?"

"I assume so. I read something online how she cuts herself. I don't know about the whole prostitute thing, but she's somewhat of a celebrity, so probably. I also heard she is an alcoholic and made out with someone at a party and now he hates her. She is so ugly, why does she get to date a celebrity?"

"I don't know... Let's just go to lunch."

"Okay, come on."

I heard footsteps, as they left the room. I collapsed onto the floor of the bathroom, sobbing. I hate this. Everyone now thinks of me like that. I'm just the drunk ugly prostitute at the school. I hate myself, too. When will people finally understand?
*


The day ended, and I rushed out of the school. Every day I try to run away from the bullies, but they always end up finding me. I'm never fast enough.

"Do you really think you can just run away from us?" I heard someone growl behind me. I turned around, to see the usual group of girls. The ones that were taller and stronger than me. I was small and weak, unable to even escape.

They dragged me away, so I was hidden from the crowd of people. They started by hitting me. I felt pain covering me. I gasped, as the hitting grew more frequent.

"Why don't you ever fight back?" One of them angrily asked, "Too stupid to try?"

"I-I don't do that k-kind of thing," I stuttered, trying to catch my breath.

"We gave you your chance," She said. Suddenly, I felt their fist come in contact with my head, knocking me against the brick wall. Before I could even figure out what was happening, I was knocked out.
*


I woke up later, when the sky was starting to get dark. How long have I been passed out? Why didn't anyone help me? Will anyone ever help someone who is hurt? Why am I always ignored?

My head was pounding. I heard my phone buzzing. I pulled it out of my pocket. I had five missed messages.

Niall: When r u coming home?

Niall: Are you okay?

Niall: Please reply!

Louis: WE R REALLY WORRIED NICI! PLEASE COME BACK TO ME!

Liam: R u ever coming back? Niall is really worried.

Crap, they don't know what happened. I need to text them.

To Niall: So sorry I'm coming home right now

I quickly grabbed my bag, and rushed towards the parking lot, ignoring the pounding headache. I got in the car and quickly drove back to the house.

I walked inside, and saw everyone in the living room and kitchen.

"Thank God you're okay," Niall said, once he walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me in a hug.

"Tell me what happened," He commanded, once he let go. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, as they waited for the answer. I have to think of a lie, fast.

"Um, well I was studying at the library, and accidentally fell asleep. I lost track of time, and woke up later," I lied.

"Oh, well, that makes sense," Liam replied, from over at the counter.

"Niall was REALLY worried about you," Louis told me. Niall rolled his eyes at Louis, "You don't need to say everything, Louis."

Louis frowned, "I think we all know that I do!"

"Well, we were just going to have dinner, so you can join us," Harry said. I nodded, and we gathered around the dinner table. The boys quickly served themselves. I just got a small portion of fruit and a salad, not wanting to eat much.

"That's all you're going to eat?" Niall asked. I immediately looked up, "U-Um, yeah. What's wrong with that?"

I could feel everyone now staring at me. It felt like school all over again.

"Well, you don't seem to be eating much lately," Niall replied.

"Y-Yes I am!" I protested. Niall shrugged, "Well, okay."

We continued eating, and the dinner table had now become quieter. I really didn't mind. This way I didn't have to lie.

-----------

Okay, I'm going to try to update again. Well, comment, follow, and like. Bye lovelies! -Madison